lolAJ

hey its the weekend!

2009-04-03T17:28:00.010-04:00

...unfortunately, for aj, every day is the weekend and yet no day is the weekend.

anyway, here is an oldie but a real goodie that a recently came back to my attention due a particularly conscientious tipster (special thanks to another devoted reader who converted the audio into a video file cause blogger won't let you upload mp3s and aj can't figure out i-movie. lame!)

little known fact: i attempted to use this song to flirt with my girlfriend back before we were dating! (chicks dig feminists amirite?)

BREAKING NEWS

2009-03-23T18:24:00.003-04:00

Diablo Cody strikes again! Feministing reports!

Prop 8? Prop 6??

2009-03-06T14:49:00.004-05:00

So I really don't normally care enough about California's Proposition 8 or any related marriage debate to mention it in a way that involves anything other than poking fun at the whole conversation, but I recently came across the following article from a Toronto gay newspaper in July 1979, which gave me a bit of a pause. As you can see, it's a news blurb on polling data following the defeat of Prop 8's happier predecessor, Proposition 6--better known as the Briggs Initiative (which all of you who have viewed the lovely biopic Milk should be familiar with). Anyway I'm not possessed of the time to comment at the moment, but since I transcribed the blurb anyhow, just thought I'd share...

Poll reveals friends: Blacks, Hispanics

LOS ANGELES – An election day poll conducted by the Associated Press and NBC News last November showed Blacks and people of Spanish origin more favorable to the extension of fair housing and employment laws to cover homosexuals.

52% of Blacks thought gays should be covered while 31% thought they should not. Among Spanish speakers 41% were in favor and 44% against. The general population sample found 41% favorable and 46% unfavorable.

Analysis of data gathered from voters leaving the polling places on election day shows that Blacks and young people were the two groups voting most heavily against Proposition 6 – the so-called Briggs initiative which would have banned gay teachers from the California school system. Blacks opposed the measure by a 74 to 26 percent margin and voters under 30 opposed it 71 to 29.

Results also showed women opposed the initiative more often than men.

you know you have a problem when

2009-02-23T19:41:00.003-05:00

...the targeted advertising emails you receive from Amazon.com start announcing 4-for-3 deals on "paranormal romance favorites"

sunday hayyyy

2009-02-22T17:09:00.004-05:00

One thing that is always an excellent idea is moving to the music. This is true whether you are a graphic design student or a roomful of kittycats.

BOOMBOX from Ely Kim on Vimeo.

i'm just going to leave this here

2009-02-22T12:23:00.001-05:00

As part of lolAJ's ongoing exploration of questions like, "Are gay people funny?" I thought I'd impart you all with a cartoon recently penned by a friend of mine. I don't want to give too much backstory because I think it makes for pretty good standalone commentary on academic culture, but suffice to say the oeuvre depicts a real-life sociology of the body class gone wrong.

OK I lied, here is some more backstory. It would be remiss of me not to mention that the real-world gender presentation of this comic's villain was described to AJ as "ironic butch pirate/train conductor." Rock on, academia! \m/

and belatedly...

2009-02-06T14:06:00.009-05:00

Merry Black History, everybody! And thank you to various and sundry Black LGBT community members who have been circulating this and other articles; lolAJ will hopefully have a more comprehensive listing for your perusal before too long.

---

Oh right, and the other posts I initially meant to link (and continuing to plug transgriot) are:

Black LGBT History is Your History Too

and

African American Trans History - 50s style

Also, hey do u like J-Setting? AJ loooves J-Setting. So does Beyoncé! And so do a lot of gay black ppl who live down south! In fact, and as always, they totally liked it first. THIS ARTICLE IS HIGHLY INFORMATIVE.

Transgender MD, etc

2009-02-03T21:25:00.011-05:00

Out of the blue today, AJ received the following email from his mother:

Hey do youknow that there is a new premier TV show next week called Transgender MD? It's about a transgendered woman gynecologist. Can't wait! love, mom

I submitted it to Postcards from Yo Momma, but fear it may be pearls before swine.

On a related note, and also out of the blue today, AJ received this text message from his father:

Do u ever wonder what effect yer blogging might have on yer future employment prospects?

Food for thought, to say the least!

~aj

UPDATED TO ADD: Score!

ASK A LESBIAN: "Sleeping with Straight Girls"

2009-02-02T18:16:00.023-05:00

Straight girls: what is their deal? Can you be a straight girl and still be a feminist? Is being a straight girl a politics or a lifestyle? But most importantly: What happens when straight girls start sleeping with lesbians?

^^^ can u spot the str8 girl?

One little known fact is that straight girls actually sleep with lesbians all the time. On the other end of the spectrum, sometimes you have particular lesbians--such as AJ's girlfriend--who then go and, like, have all this sex with dudes. So is my girlfriend a lesbian or a straight girl? Furthermore, AJ has become increasingly aware of a particular demographic known as "queer women," which is basically a self-referential term that is used by some straight girls who on occasion like to mack with lesbians.

All of this is just to say that the more research he does, the more AJ finds the line between straight girl and lesbian to be a fine and fuzzy one indeed. As a matter of fact, since AJ is fortunate enough to have not only a lesbian expert in residence but also a str8 girl friend who desires advice on how to proceed with sleeping with her current lesbian, it seemed only obvious that I should put them in conversation with each other. (Which is to say that this installment of AAL features not only real live lesbian advice but also the genuine questions of the str8 girl community.)

So, to explore the issue further, lolAJ is pleased dedicate this particular "Ask a Lesbian" to questions about the relationship between lesbians and heterosexual women -- IN BED. Fortunately, lolAJ's resident lesbian expert Nell has a lot of experience sleeping with straight girls and she has volunteered to share her insight with the rest of us. Neway, let's get on with it.

STR8 GIRLS WANT TO KNOW:

Dear Nell,

As a st8 girl I operated under the basic assumption that all lesbians wanted to have sex with me. Now I don't even know if this is the case! N8ll, how do you know if a lesbian wants to have s8x with you?

Sincerely,

str8 not n8rrow

Dear str8 but not n8rrow,

You may not know the secret signals of of the sapphic sect, but you probably know how to flirt. So try that with your lesbian of choice, and see if she responds in kind. Also I think you are using that 8 improperly.

Helpfully yours,

Nell

-----------------------------

Dear Nell,

How queer-identified is too queer-identified... for the first date?

Sincerely,

str8 outta tha closet

Dear Str8,

You should walk a fine line between implying that you've always been a secret queer... and that this is a totally new world to which your lesbian friend is introducing you. That will make said lesbian feel both secure in your queerness and like a player who deserves a really shiny toaster.

helpfully yours,

Nell

---------------------

Dear Nell,

Can I say dykey? All of a sudden I feel like I can't. Even though i did like FIFTEEN TIMES today to describe like everything i did. 8.

Sincerely,

str8 is gr8

Dear Breeder,

Your new found sensitivity about homo-slang is endearing, but unnecessary. Go on using it in any and all ways you find useful.

Helpfully yours,

Nell

[eds. note: Nell, that is horrible advice!]

------------------------------

Dear Nelly,

So like whaddo I do? I guess I can't just lie there anymore.

Sincerely,

Scared str8

OK stop the presses. In a somewhat unorthodox move, AJ's going to take the reins in replying to this one, because it speaks directly to his life experience on the lesbian continuum.

Dear Str8,

As it so happens, there is in fact a subspecies of lesbian for whom "just lie there" is precisely their distinguishing modus operandi. These lesbians are the first cousins of straight girls and are known as "femmes" or "bottoms," which are synonymous terms (occasionally you will happen across an extremely rare breed of lesbian known as the "butch bottom," but that is typically considered a crime against nature). Now, it might strike you as "unbalanced," "unfair," or even "aping heteropatriarchal relations" to have just one lesbian doing all the work in the bedroom, but femmes are possessed of a remarkable phenomenon known as "wiles," which nearly all butches are powerless to resist. As a result of a femme's "wiles," a typical butch is not simply willing but rather indescribably eager to perform all the labor of sexual relations while the femme just lies there the whole time.

helpfully yours!

Nell, what is your characteristically pithy advice?

Dear Str8,

The universal motto of lesbianism instructs, "communication is really important" ... So, you know, just ask your lesbian friend what her pleasure is and... how to accomplish that particular sexual act.

Helpfully,

Nell.

----------------------------------------

OK I THINK WE ALL LEARNED A LOT TODAY. Adulations and phone numbers can be provided to Nell via the comments section of this post.

Yours in Sisterhood,

2009-02-02T13:50:00.000-05:00

My Sister's Keeper.

ok srsly wtf

2009-01-25T14:56:00.017-05:00

Here is something I've been thinking about lately.

How did this

and this

turn into THIS

I think she is actually trying to frown in this picture but you cannot tell because the botox is packed so tightly into her forehead you could bounce a superball off it. UGH TORI YOU USED TO BE SO BEAUTIFUL WHAT DID YOU DO.

Here's another one showcasing the forehead and also evidently that she shops at forever 21 these days. Also Tori was never this skinny back when she was a goddess:

Ok one more time. Good Tori:

Good Tori:

Good Tori (note: I couldn't find a date but I think this one is pretty recent--I'm going to say c. 2000--suggesting that the Fall occurred in the not-too-distant past. Plz note the unassuming t-shirt and absence of hair extensions)

And then there was BAD Tori! BAD!!

Ack! How far we have plummeted since the days of a girl and her piano and her bottle of manic panic

omg tori plz remove that wig immediately

Bad Tori
Aiiiieeeeee!!* my eyes!

nobody even say the words "doll posse" i will probably start crying

--------

* this sentiment not to be confused with i i e e e

a very special holiday kitteh

2008-12-30T20:35:00.002-05:00

Hey I just saw Milk! Or: 10 things the gay mainstream WANTS you to believe about queer history!

2008-12-30T12:15:00.015-05:00

YES WE CAN has MOAR images of homo respectability!
gay rights = african american rights = ladies' rights = consumer's rights = whatever = &c., &c. (This is why, for instance, African Americans must have their leaders and gay Americans must have our own leaders.)
If u are gay and want change and whatnot u should definitely get out of the streets and into the campaign office because that is where politics happen.
The Tenderloin smells like pee.
DO NOT FEAR: Contrary to popular belief, gay men do not have sex, they just get naked and slap each other's butts while rolling around and giggling.
oh im sorry were you expecting AJ to insert some comment about the post-Stonewall gay liberation movement and how it evinced a very different set of politics and praxis than can be found in the biopic Milk? WELL UNFORTUNATELY THAT WOULD BE HARD TO DO BECAUSE IN THE WORLD ACCORDING TO THAT MOVIE GAY LIBERATION SEEMS TO HAVE NEVER HAPPENED.
One lesbian is PLENTY.
HEY WE PAY TAXES!
Individually, coming out is the most important thing a homosexual can do in his life; collectively, coming out is the most effective strategy for alleviating pretty much anything that would ever be objectionable to a homosexual community.
OMG finally we must thank our lucky stars for the white gender conforming male homosexuals of yesteryear because otherwise how would any of us have any RIGHTS and stuff? TRULY I TELL YOU WE WOULD HAVE NONE.

ok

2008-12-27T23:52:00.006-05:00

it is unspeakably embarrassing that it took a feministe post for me to finally see the video for this song which has been around for like 4eva but i gotta say this its simply aj's favorite video he's seen all year. it makes me miss new york so bad my heart hurts like its died a thousand deaths

ps MIA is relevant to my interests

quickhit: <3 internet, feminism <3

2008-12-16T02:11:00.004-05:00

I'm not sure what is more relevant to my interests: the NYT blog article on orgasmic childbirth or the fact that the very first question Feministing's readership picked up on is whether having an orgasm from a baby traveling through your vagina raises questions of consent with regard to the baby.

Keep having ideas, everyone... AJ likes it!

let's talk about the weather

2008-12-14T11:54:00.009-05:00

AJ was getting bummed because the balmy 37˚ weather we're experiencing right now is about to plummet about 50 degrees and not make it above 0˚ tomorrow (how am I supposed to get to school) until I decided to mess around and see what kind of weather everyone else is having...

In defense of Mother Russia, it looks like it's about 2 AM right now in the North Pole of Cold, so idk maybe it'll get up there as the day wears on. If you're like AJ, you might now be wondering what's the coldest part of the United States, and if you saw 30 Days of Night, you might be thinking, "Oh! It's Barrow, Alaska!" but you would be wrong as Barrow is right there on the Arctic Ocean, which basically acts as an insulator. In fact, the weather in Barrow right now is not so different from Minneapolis. Landlocked parts of Alaska (as tends to be true for landlocked areas in general) get much colder, making Fairbanks one of the coldest cities in the U.S. Now, the *northernmost* western hemispheric city AJ was able to locate on weather.com is Iqaluit, Canada, which is the capital of Nunavet and somewhat further north than Barrow. The northernmost permanently-inhabited settlement in the western hemisphere is the Canadian Forces Station Alert on Ellesmere Island in Nunavet, but that's not on weather.com so whatever.

Anyway, USA Today confirms that Minneapolis is the coldest major city in the United States. Boo. Minnesota is also home to International Falls, known as the Icebox of the Nation, supposedly the coldest town in the continental U.S., though apparently this has been challenged by Fraser, Colorado. Hm, I think I've been there. On the other hand, the *snowiest* U.S. cities (according to a different USA Today article) are neither in Minnesota nor (as one might expect) upstate New York. Blue Canyon, California, weirdly, takes the snow cake.

Anyway that's all I have to say about that!

UPDATE TO ADD: OMG! I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT WITH ALL OF THIS TALK OF CANADA AJ NEGLECTED TO MENTION THAT WOLVERINE TRAILER IS 110% RELEVANT TO MY INTERESTS

spitzface is now a meme!

2008-12-09T12:27:00.008-05:00

MY GUBERNATORIAL "OOPS" FACE... LET ME SHOW YOU IT!

:-[

AJ gives props: VIKING METAL

2008-12-08T23:05:00.006-05:00

And now for another installment of lolAJ's intermittent feature: Props!

Do you know what is exceedingly awesome? VIKING METAL. It is a well established fact that few things approach the awesomeness of viking metal. It is also true that nothing is more EPIC. AJ has been thinking about viking metal a lot lately and is pretty grateful that such a thing exists. Unlike his little brother, however, AJ is far from an expert metal connoisseur and there are probably all kinds of things he doesn't even know about viking metal! However, here are a few videos that AJ particularly enjoys and wishes to share with his readers.

Turisas: "Battle Metal" (probably the greatest viking metal video in existence)

Amon Amarth: Twilight of the Thunder Gods

Einherjer: Iron Bound

Bathory: One Rode to Asa Bay

Enjoy! Hope I didn't alienate too many readers lololol! xo-AJ

PS: ODIN OWNS YE ALL!!!!1ONE

Ask a Lesbian: Proposition 8!

2008-12-06T17:29:00.017-05:00

AJ apologizes for the wait readers have endured to hear Nell's thoughts on Proposition 8 (moar liek prop h8 amirite) -- presently our fearless lesbian is keeping a very busy schedule fighting hard to secure same sex domestic partner benefits for pharmacists! Without further ado, lolAJ is pleased to present to you: ASK A LESBIAN --- PROPOSITION 8.

Wait but first! Some music to set the mood...

READERS WANT TO KNOW

Dear Nell,

Which do you think is more significant: that Americans elected a black president or that they banned gay marriage in California?

thanks,

interested

Dear Interested,

In fact, neither one is significant. Both are simply spectacles distracting us from substantive issues.

Cynically yours,

Nell

-----------------------------

Dear Nell,

In a post-racist and post-proposition 8 country, what is the most important thing Gay Americans can be doing to work for marriage equality and other gay civil rights?

thanks nell!

Dear post-racist,

The most important thing Gay Americans can be doing these days is making it clear to everyone that they are simply Americans who happen to be Gay.

Your in assimilation,

Nell

-----------------------------

Dear Nell,

Which do you think is a bigger problem: racism in gay and lesbian communities? Or homophobia in African American communities?

thanks,

concerned

Dear Concerned,

I think the biggest problem is YOU.

Sincerely,
Nell

P.S. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/12/04/poll-prop-8-voting-driven_n_148379.html

-----------------------------

Dear Nell,

Which out and proud gay celebrity would you rather be and why: Ellen Degeneres or Jane Lynch?

sincerely,

curious

Dear Curious,

That's a great question. While Ellen has a certain appeal that comes with daytime tv stardom and really became the face of the anti-Prop 8 movement as people tearfully asked each other, "But what will happen to Ellen and Portia??," I'd have to go with Jane Lynch. She's just got more of a sense of irony, from what I can tell. By looking at her.

Keep reading!

-Nell

kwik hitz

2008-12-04T16:45:00.002-05:00

via Feministe, AJ has learned of SRLP's recent victory in getting a bar to legal name changes removed--"possible confusion" is no longer a valid reason to deny a name change petition if an individual is going from a masculine to a feminine name or vice versa. In my ignorance, I did not realize that petitions in NY (where AJ had his name legally changed) were regularly denied on these grounds.

AJ's a little tickled because "fraught with... confusion" is precisely how he'd describe his entire experience living as a transgendered person.

I am still waiting on SRLP to get some kind of ban on judges doling out patronizing lectures to trans people who are going through name change processes tho I guess in the end they make for good stories.

WHEN I SAY DYKES YOU SAY OMFG

2008-12-03T20:53:00.011-05:00

Resident lesbian expert Nell has brought my attention to the New York Times piece on Alison Bechdel's Dykes to Watch Out For, which I cannot but recommend as exceedingly hilarious. The article, of course, mostly reveals more about the reviewer, American political culture, and the paltry tools most Americans have to think about politics beyond an extremely narrow partisan scope than it ever tells us about Bechdel's work. Reviewer Dwight Garner, for instance, assesses the political content of Dykes to Watch Out For as "Greenpeace meets PETA meets MoveOn.org" to which I can only properly respond via kittycat:

Garner also seems sort of surprised that a lesbian writer of comics would be familiar with Foucault, Butler, et al, demonstrating that he has never actually met a lesbian who went to Oberlin. I did appreciate however his comment that "You'll come to notice that lesbians have been, over the last 25 years, on the cutting edge of just about every cultural trend in this country." HEAR HEAR! Tho AJ might offer a tiny rejoinder that on the matter of tattoos, lesbians tend to be about 12 years behind the times. Other things our journalist discovered thru his perusal of Dykes to Watch Out For:

- lesbians became the first foodies when they all went vegetarian

- lesbians composted stuff way before the rest of us even knew what a carbon footprint is

- lesbians had weird names before the rest of us

- lesbians wanted to impeach the FIRST Bush!

In the end, I have to concur with our intrepid reviewer: Dykes to Watch Out For is not (just) a comic, it is ETHNOGRAPHY. And should be considered required reading for lesbians and non-lesbians alike!

2 things

2008-12-01T16:17:00.009-05:00

SCORPIONS? IN YOUR BANANAS?? It's more likely than you think! AJ has unearthed not one but two articles on scorpions in bananas from the last couple months. Eek! AJ is sort of arachnophobic, for those who did not know.

Feministing weighs in on Alex Kuczynski's piece on surrogate babying. AJ: RANT RANT RANT LOL! wtf lol feminists rant rant rant baby pwnage stfu! RANT rant adoption do not want babies aj's mom has a foster baby too rofl. Baby mama wtf! Read Gawker's post instead. Also... moar on TEH KUCZ.

PS: zomgz0rz! tina fey's hubby tots talked about her scar in vanity fair

ok this definitely deserves its own post now

2008-11-24T17:01:00.003-05:00

IMPORTANT UPDATE: A particularly insightful and attractive commenter has observed that the mysterious woodlands piano (see below) is almost indubitably the work of an ears with feet. Allow me a moment to illustrate:

Tori likes leaves inside so why not pianos outside?

Where else will abducted Tori play her piano if not in the woods?

Tori needs a new piano cause she burned her old one! why did u do that silly?

And finally--and most important of all--what lives in the woods?? FAERIES LIVE IN THE WOODS. Case closed.

couple sunday lynx

2008-11-23T18:41:00.017-05:00

Here is a pretty neat NYT article on hairstylists and domestic abuse. The piece confirms a suspicion that AJ's had since the first time he saw Diana's Hair Ego way back when, which is that beauticians are in fact the vanguard of the revolution.

In other news, OMFG TYRA IS TOTALLY PAYING FOR ISIS' SURGERY! OMG OMG! too bad she didn't pay for it *before* the show--maybe Isis would be America's Next Top Model by now... curse you, underwater shoot!

As a fellow bedroom dancer, AJ is simply in awe of this fine individual. Respect.

Also: Mystery piano in woods perplexes police. Need I say moar??

Also these ads are sexist lol

this is pretty much how aj spends his afternoons too

2008-11-22T17:35:00.000-05:00

lol-aj.livejournal.com has a RAGE

2008-11-22T16:45:00.012-05:00

OK first of all some goddamn revolting queer purloined my puffy warm reversible Levi's vest last night. WTF! Who steals someone's clothes at a queer dance party?? AJ needs that vest cause he doesn't own a real winter coat and therefore has to layer. Give me my vest back, revolting queer!

Secondly, AJ's car has real shitty tires and another one went flat on him today and I was turned away from SIX different tire stores (which were booked or closing) before I gave up and went home. Although AJ appreciates the feelings of manliness that changing a tire inspires in him, it is a universal law that finding a place to patch/replace a flat is never a simple task. And though driving around Lake Street in search of a tire store is vaguely reminiscent of driving around Coney Island Avenue* in search of a tire store, which is good for purposes of nostalgia and stuff, AJ still really misses Brooklyn where all the tire stores are weirdly open 24 hours a day.

H0WeVAR THE GOOD NEWS IS:

SCORE! This ingeniously designed new face mask (it velcroes in the back instead of being a huge thing that goes over your head which is also good cause it messes w/ my glasses arms less) has a hole cut around the nose with a flap over it so your breath goes OUT through the nose area but the icy wind can't come back IN! It also makes me look a little more like a storm trooper. Which brings me to my next question: does anyone want a balaclava? AJ spent good money on that thing--it's North Face!--and would be happy to see it find a good home, tho he does not recommend it for the bespectacled. Thanks for all the suggestions readers.

OK thats all i guess im supposed to wriet a paper

---------

* I miss you, Coney Island Ave! :'(

wooooooooooo

2008-11-21T21:33:00.003-05:00

OK AJs about a week behind on this one but...

NEW WATCHMEN TRAILER! NEW WATCHMEN TRAILER!

weeeoooo

also: Koyaanisqatsi???

OK EVERYONE CHEER UP again

2008-11-18T21:26:00.008-05:00

Whoa AJ needs to like srsly remedy the moroseness into which his blog has fallen today so for your viewing pleasure he presents the music video of HIS THEME SONG.*

u can watch here if ur havin trubble wit my video

-----------------------

* AJ would be remiss, not to mention potentially in trouble, if he did not stress his great fortune in already being possessed of a girl who looks good (as a matter of fact I am trying to call her right now why isn't she answering). The remainder of the song speaks directly to AJ's experience, however. He h8s when ppl laugh at his hatchback.

RIP Chloe "Chlobers" Hernandez-del Valle (1991 - 2008)

2008-11-18T17:47:00.010-05:00

Since we are all in a reflective mood today I thought we could also take a moment to mourn the passing of Chloe Hernandez, possibly AJ's favorite high-maintenance geriatric diabetic no-tailed partial manx. Chloe is survived by her human, Teresa, who has issued the following remarks:

Not all of you had the pleasure of meeting Chloe. Sweet, loving and not without her occasional flare of Diva-esque attitude, Chloe was a great kitty. Despite my ranting about the arduous nature of her special needs, she was a precious companion. Thank you all for lending me your ear to vent each and every time I 'couldn't take it anymore'. I especially thank those of you who helped with her care when I was out of town (or out on the town, xoxo Juan). I literally could not have done it without all of you. And I am glad that I kept her with me through to the end. It was a challenge to take care of her and it has been just as challenging letting her go. I love her and miss her.

AJ is pretty sure everyone with a soul should miss Chloe the curmudgeonly adorable halfmanx. Aujourd'hui, nous sommes tous Chlobers. :'(

more news, stuff on thursday, etc

2008-11-18T15:37:00.009-05:00

AJ hates bein a Debbie Downer, but he thinks its sort of useful to try to keep up with this stuff:

Teish Cannon, a black transwoman living in Syracuse, was shot and killed last Friday night; community and family members agree she was targeted because of her gender identity/perceived sexual orientation. Much of the news coverage has been referring to Cannon as a gay man, though HRC (in their recent statement) and others working with the family are trying to correct this.

Also, AJ has been meaning to post this article from the Aurora Sentinel (Aurora, CO is where AJ's maternal grandparents lived for a long time!) on the recent death of transwoman Aimee Wilcoxson, whose alleged "suicide" is being questioned by her friends and family (the last sentence of the article is pretty much the saddest thing AJ has ever seen).

This Thursday, November 20th is the 10th annual Transgender Day of Remembrance and if you live in New York, or even if not, Jack at Feministe has posted some recommendations for action, including Housing Works' upcoming vigil and the Day of Remembrance at the Center.

If you live in the Twin Cities, where we are comparatively bereft of progressive POC-oriented intersectional queer organizing, you can still go to the Day of Remembrance service at the Spirit of the Lakes United Church of Christ (2930 13th Ave South), at 7:00 this Thursday. The Trans Commission at the U is also apparently planning a "collaborative art and information display" which will be in Coffman Union from 11:30 - 1:30 on the same day if you're into that sort of thing.

AJ wishes all of his readers peace in struggle!

monday news

2008-11-17T19:35:00.006-05:00

Interestingly, Duanna Johnson made the New York Times.

A search for "transsexuals" on NYT turns up this weird piece from a couple weeks ago, in which the author waxes on about her trans twin bro, trans reproductive issues, and, of course, sea horses.

Continuing with the Times trend, AJ also draws your attention to this article on drinking in Wisconsin--Wisconsin is right next to AJ! and apparently it "[leads] the nation in binge drinking." AJ did not know that it's legal for minors to buy alcohol in bars in WI if they are accompanied by their guardian. That sort of makes AJ's inner libertarian (shh!) happy.

What in the hell? Prince is talking smack about the gays?? As a Minneapolis resident, homophile, and popular music enthusiast, AJ is not even sure how to respond. Plus I mean like you know obviously, hello. IDK sounds like someone needs to purify themselves in the waters of lake Minnetonka.

And just as a general aside re: Wanda Sykes, I really hate it when I pluck a titillating piece of news out of an otherwise unremarkable article but then twelve hours later its on every single blog in the blogoverse, rendering lolAJ redundant and dull. my life is super hard :(

Finally, the Biggest Loser only for cats is always an excellent idea.

jebus finally

2008-11-17T00:30:00.009-05:00

All this prop 8 hullabaloo has finally turned out some interesting news: Wanda Sykes is gay, gay, gay. AJ is shocked.* R u shocked?

Quoth the New York Times:

In Las Vegas, the comedian Wanda Sykes surprised a crowd of more than 1,000 rallying outside a gay community center by announcing that she is gay and had wed her wife in California on Oct. 25. Ms. Sykes, who divorced her husband of seven years in 1998, had never publicly discussed her sexual orientation but said the passage of Proposition 8 had propelled her to be open about it.
“I felt like I was being attacked, personally attacked — our community was attacked,” she told the crowd.

Unrelatedly: How about that gmail video chat???

-----------------------

* By shocked of course AJ means he's about as surprised as when Katherine Moennig or Jodie Foster formalized their outness. I think for a while word on the street with Sykes was that she tends to pop up at Lovergirl now and again. ONLY LESBIANS GO TO LESBIAN BARS, PEOPLE.

problem.

2008-11-16T17:35:00.009-05:00

OK I am wondering if my readership can help me out here. AJ is trying to winterize in preparation for the next several months of bicycling to school and he's having sort of a problem. I bought some real cycling gloves, some hiking socks (I had been experimenting with doubling up regular socks but am finding truth in my crunchy Boulder-bred lesbian friend Nell's observation that if you sweat in cotton the sweat just stays there and so I've been spending a lot of time with soggy wrinkly chilly toes), and finally a balaclava. Herein lies the dilemma: AJ can't see without his glasses but if he wears his glasses with the balaclava his breath is funneled up out of the hole at the top and fogs up his glasses such that he can't see a goddamn thing (see fig 1). Wtf!

fig. 1

Surely there is a way to remedy this right? BTW this picture was taken inside so you can imagine how much worse the fog situation is when the lenses are cold. Also AJ can't wear contacts they feel like sand in his eyeballs. Any additional tips about biking in extremely nippy weather are also appreciated (I have yet to get fenders for my bike and also probably some fatter tires but maybe not til the snow gets really out of control).

In other news, stay tuned for lolAJ's next installment of Ask a Lesbian featuring Nell who is an expert on lesbians. I think a lot of us want to know how the lesbian community feels about all this business in California; I know I do.

Also: folks who are as intrigued and titillated by the 35W dancer (below) as I am might be interested in perusing AJ's other neighborhood-related videos (courtesy of google maps) such as sad drag queen singing Martha Smith, and uh, this dude. AJ has to concede that if these videos are any indication, he must live in a pretty bodacious neighborhood!

aj is rockin out w/ I-35W, Amanda the windows dancer

2008-11-15T14:47:00.002-05:00

this is one of the related videos that pops up when i plug my address into google maps. it is exceedingly excellent

omgloltrannieswtf

2008-11-13T17:27:00.012-05:00

AJ called up the benefits office at his university and the exchange went sort of like this:

[Backstory: the U's policy on partner benefits is be gay, be married, or GTFO]

AJ: Hi there, I'm calling because my partner is going to be moving in with me and I'm transgendered so we're wondering if she and I are eligible for same-sex domestic partner benefits.

Woman: Well, we use birth certificate gender to determine partnership arrangements, but we won't actually ask to see the certificate or anything.

AJ: Oh OK, great

Woman: You see, we feel... [Woman takes on this weird didactic tone and starts explaining something about how once a person is further along in their transition they will change their birth certificate to match their identity but AJ is confused and pretty sure he doesn't like where she's headed so I sort of cut her off]

AJ: Uh yeah, super. So if my birth certificate lists me as female, she and I can just sign that same partnership affidavit as any same-sex couple and mail it in to you guys and that's it?

Woman (surprised): Well, have you had your birth certificate changed already?

AJ: Um, well no it's the same one I've always had.

Woman: No, like I already explained to you, we would then consider you a different-sex couple.

AJ: Wat! But you just told me you go by birth certificate gender!

Woman: Well am I correct in my understanding that your birth certificate lists you as male?

AJ: wtf no wai lady I was born female lol!

Woman: [spluttering]

lol AJ would be more annoyed but instead I'll just take it as an affirmation of my manly timbre.* I got paperwork sitting right here in my desk that I've been meaning to send in to get that birth certificate changed... now I'm pretty glad that I never do anything in a timely fashion. My girlfriend, who is basically a sweetie, feels bad cause she thinks she's forcing me to remain a woman 4eva.

The OTHER excellent news is called BEST BABS-THOMAS BEATIE INTERVIEW EVAR!!1

Highlights also include--

Thomas: I wake up in the morning and feel like a man. (me too, thomas, me too)

Also: AJ is sort of shocked that Feministing covered Duanna Johnson's murder. Of course the first commenter weighed in with, "Johnson looked like a troubled woman--not exactly a model citizen."

Stay classy, feministing readers!

o rite, also via feministing, WETV brings you... SEX CHANGE HOSPITAL! \m/

-------------

* not that AJ thinks the transladies sound like dudes, of course, just that he assumes cispeople expect them to.

BABIES: IT'S ON!

2008-11-11T21:44:00.007-05:00

that's aj right there on the right, btw. aj is not typically in the habit of revealing his SECRET identity to the internets, however dire circumstances have impelled me to allow this one exception.

oh and here's the shifty lilliputian my mom is replacing me with

2008-11-11T18:50:00.007-05:00

JUST YOU WAIT LITTLE JOEY!!! YOU AND I AREN'T FINISHED YET!!1!

EVERYONE CHEER UP OK

2008-11-11T13:05:00.001-05:00

moar!

worst day ever!

2008-11-10T18:04:00.011-05:00

gays r bein all racist, gus the ugliest dog died, and aj has to write a paper

UPDATED TO ADD: oh no it really is the worst day ever -- Miriam Makeba dies at 76 AJ never got to see her perform this is awful :'(

Oh and also this... diligent readers might remember AJ mentioning Duanna Johnson's police brutality case over her beating in a Memphis police station back in June. Johnson, who was transgendered, was found shot to death last night.

nooooooo

2008-11-09T13:34:00.006-05:00

LOL OOPS

2008-11-08T21:58:00.004-05:00

wat a mess!

I do know this, though: I’m done pretending that the handful of racist gay white men out there—and they’re out there, and I think they’re scum—are a bigger problem for African Americans, gay and straight, than the huge numbers of homophobic African Americans are for gay Americans, whatever their color.

o heres a lolAJ quickhit

2008-11-07T20:17:00.007-05:00

With his mind still a-reelin' from the developments of the past week, AJ is now more than ever grateful for the intellectual guidance of the blogosphere--and I think io9 pointedly directs us to the question we've all really been wanting to ask this week without even knowing it: WHAT DOES THE ELECTION MEAN FOR SCIENCE FICTION?

AJ must in good conscience, however, warn his readers: linked photo of Gillian Anderson is EXCEEDINGLY SEXY. I can't believe it's not NSFW! Also make sure to watch the choice clip from HOME, unquestionably the gr8est epis0d3 EVAR unless ur my former roommate who can say wat is up with taht

CURIOUSER AND CURIOUSER

2008-11-07T16:37:00.013-05:00

Thanks to a particularly vigilant lolaj tipster, AJ's attentions have been directed towards a somewhat smaller (in jurisdiction, anyway) recent social barrier breach--with which some of my readers may already be familiar. The town of Silverton, Oregon has elected our nation's first fluidly-gendered mayor, a move that in this instance suggests Oregonians' tolerance not just of transgenders, but also the hilarious nutjob community.

Something is sort of fishy about this dude and AJ can't quite put his finger on it but he suspects it is AWSOME in nature. (Btw, AJ initially thought there was a major pronoun/category fail happening with that first article but upon actually reading you'll notice Stu Rasmussen identifies himself as a heterosexual male who "likes to look female"). AJ has to admit, he's a fan of any public servant who explicates their gender identity via a segment on their website entitled Reality Check (OLOL@"Really?" ---that's totally how AJ feels about his gender sometimes!). Anyway Rasmussen gives folks the straight talk (pun!) on the situation:

"Some guys' midlife crisis is sports cars or motorcycles or climbing mountains or trophy wives or whatever. I always wanted cleavage! So I went out and acquired some."

Yes we can! AJ's lingering question mark is what the hell sort of town not only elects a transgendered mayor, but elects one who apparently missed class the day they explained what a palatable transsexual is (heterosexual male who had top surgery cause he likes to look female does not strike AJ as the most publicly intelligible subjectivity of all time). The only theory posited to me thus far is that logging industry-generated pollution may have addled Oregon's collective brains for the better.

Well... w2g Stu! Here's hoping he keeps on keepin' on with the "having more fun than a drunken cowboy with a new pickup" and whatnot. \m/

Also check out OR-based Homoblog Just Out for further coverage.

btdubs

2008-11-05T22:02:00.014-05:00

also not to beat a horse thats already approaching its demise but how about that homosexual pwnage that got dished out california-style? the LA times had some sort of striking photos:

^^^FUCK YEAH!!!1 \m/

and conversely:

^ sad 'mos are sad :'(

U have to hand it to Cali for srsly knowing how to rock a tyranny of the majority--52.5%!! Californians like gay marriage bans just a tiny bit more than a high-speed rail (52.1%) and just a tad less than victims rights (53.5%). HRMHRMHRMHRMHRM

The anxiety AJ felt waiting for the polls to come in has induced an uneasy acceptance of his inner homonormativity. Also was I the only one who felt real bad for Palin when she was all tearing up during McCain's speech last night? I think AJ just really hates seeing the ladies cry...

also as an aside

2008-11-05T19:31:00.009-05:00

What the hell? Just how many daughters of former slaves voted for Obama? So far I have found:

109 year old Amanda Jones in Texas:

and

114 year old Gertrude Baines in California:

One daughter of a slave voting for a black president is impressive and two is twice as many! Are there more?? AJ's cup runneth over, and by cup he means his heart which overflows with warm feelings due to these ineffably touching anecdotes.

UPDATED TO ADD: sweet I found an article w/ a video on Amanda Jones though she herself isn't exactly prominently featured

lol-aj.livejournal.com brings u some UPDATES

2008-11-02T22:55:00.011-05:00

- AJ didn't do much for Halloween tho he did manage to dress up... AS A PHILOSOPHICAL ZOMBIE LOL!!

- It seems as though my mom and stepdad are totally going to become foster parents to a small HIV-exposed baby. WTF! Their intentions may be noble but one's things for certain: nothing sucks up EVERYBODY'S ATTENTION like a small HIV-exposed foster baby. THAT BABY'S GOING TO STEAL MY THUNDER!!! The baby is white, btw. He has a name that makes him sound like he's from Woonsocket, and he totally is!

- My dad was nice enough to have my double bass boxed and shipped to me, which was probably expensive. Now there is a crate bigger than my couch lying in my living room and if I know AJ, I know that crate is going to be a living room fixture for a while.

^^lol now what

- Overall, AJ finds Minnesota to be sort of a crappy state for the transgendered. I've had to resign myself to a Harry Benjamin-adhering doctor, the DMV is giving me shit about my license, and the U only gives out domestic partnership benefits to "same-sex" couples (AJ happily anticipates the arrival of his better half in the not-too-distant future). The matter of partner benefits is yet unresolved but we hope ultimately to have delicious cake and nom it too.

- Also the Obama campaign has called me four times so far today and I will be pleased when all this is over and everyone gets their facebook status messages back. And for those of you voting at the center of the universe, it would be foolish not to avail yourselves of this.

k thats all

aj to nyc

2008-10-02T15:03:00.000-04:00

LOL SUCKERS!!!

uh oh

2008-09-28T13:39:00.024-04:00

OK since aj doesn't have an iota of energy to look at this news and stuff (my father tells me I can use his credit card to buy a thanksgiving plane ticket home but do it now before the money's all gone uh oh) this is going to be an lol-aj.livejournal.com installment:

Neway this morning I was going over some readings for a class discussion I have to lead this week and noticed I had underlined a part in the text that read:

The ideological construction of crime is thus complemented and bolstered by the material construction of jails and prisons. The more jails and prisons are constructed, the greater the fear of crime, and the greater the fear of crime, the stronger the cry for more jails and prisons, ad infinitum.

And then I noticed that next to it in the margins I had scribbled:

MOAR! Because moar!

Here is a visual aid of what I think the author (Angela Davis duh) must have been getting at. I am pretty insightful!

In other news, pursuant to a conversation with an lolAJ tipster about the possibility of some white people being human (in which AJ desperately insisted upon his human bean status), I received this followup email:

On Mon, Sep 29, 2008 at 6:00 PM, xxxxxxx wrote:

AJ, I do not think of you as a white and I do not think of you as not white...

I think of you as an angel.

LAWL! omg get it? it is a to wong foo reference, which makes it additionally funny, since AJ is ALSO a transsexual. ROFFLE! Moreover, it opens up a whole new possibility of ethnic identification for AJ since we all know whiteness is a real sticky mess to be caught up in and white people should avoid identification with whiteness whenever possible. AS A MATTER OF FACT some people even tell me my curly hair looks sort of angelic sometimes!

AS AN ASIDE: OMG THIS IS A REAL MOVIE IN THEATERS??? CAN I SEE IT NAO PLZ??

updated to add: I CAN'T STOP WATCHING THE TRAILER!!!

ALSO in more profane relevant happenings: My girlfriend, who is something of an Andy Samberg fan sent me this today which is pretty righteous. And then Andy Samberg reminded me of this fine lady (they are a couple if u did not know):

In conclusion, I just drank a litre of Perrier and a pint of stout. Eek! I think I'm going to float out the window. wait i have to write a paper warblgarbl

ANTM state of the union

2008-09-24T21:00:00.003-04:00

OMG NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

i had a whole post but it is no longer relevant

~ aj, crying with his eyes

wat!

2008-09-05T01:57:00.008-04:00

AJ to other white ppl: STOP STEELIN MAH LIFE.

wait aj is tickled by the fortuity but why is this article supposed to be interesting?

maybe they'll start a real estate blog *crosses fingers* wait no it would be so boring

nevermind about that other thing! bai!

Nobody expects a transsexual

2008-09-04T17:13:00.014-04:00

(wtf why is it so weird being of transgendered experience)

I will tell you whats on my mindgrapes!

I typically think of myself as *barely* passing, in that, while I take for granted my ability to pass as male in day to day existence, I don't expect it to require any large stretch of the imagination for the casual observer to imagine me as a former member of the fairer sex. At 5'4" I don't exactly tower, the fuzz that grows on my cheeks would be an embarrassment for most male-type persons old enough to see an R rated movie, and--as a lesbian I know personally once observed--being a masculine, female-assigned person gives new and ponderous meaning to the phrase "hips don't lie." So ya, passing, but not with flying colors.

As such I'm always sort of startled by the inability of laypeople to imagine the possibility of a transsexual incarnate. I suspect herein lies our greatest strength as a people. For instance:

Now that I have departed the homosexual metropolis of Gotham for the differently-queered Twin Cities, I have to go to a clinic for regular normal people. I sort of assumed that the nurse taking my medical history knew what was up when I explained that I was prescribed testosterone but he looked completely confused when I told him my medial records back in NYC might be filed under a former legal name. He sort of blinked and said "Oh really? Why? Did you like get married or something? No, that wouldn't make sense..." So I just sort of stared at him and was like "um anyway it might be under this name..."

In a similar vein, last week I went to go get my photo taken for my student ID card and the exchange was sort of like:

BUBBLY WORKSTUDY: Hi! Can I have your student ID number?

AJ: Um sure, let me find it... I guess I should warn you though I might still be in your system under my former legal name--I filed the name change form last week but I don't know if everything is updated yet. [AJ gives student number]

BUBBLY WORKSTUDY: Nope you're here! Oh wait! [laughs out loud] That can't be right unless your name is [REDACTED]!!! [Continues to LOL]

AJ: Uh... actually, that'd be that former name I told you about. I guess I'll come back once your system's updated.

Anyway, this week I went back to the student services center to see why it was taking so long for the system to update my name change. I explained the situation to the worker who agreed it was taking longer than usual and I was again asked for my student ID number. Upon looking up my record, however, the man's face went blank and he stared confusedly at the monitor for several seconds before turning it around to show me what was on the screen. Looking completely befuddled, he said "I think something's wrong--can you explain this to me? I don't understand." And I replied "Um yes. That there's my former legal name. That's what I'm trying to get changed. Also that gender designation is wrong--I don't know why it says that. Can you change that too please?" (It was interesting that I was entered as female in the University system since I definitely never checked any "F" box on my application. Fun fact: my girlfriend, who bears a decidedly masculine name despite being a lady through and through, has discovered in the past that the university she works lists her as male in their system.)

Anyway the guy puttered off to speak with his supervisor and I ultimately learned that the reason my information was never updated in the university systems was because the form had never been processed: whoever got saddled with the paperwork I originally filed had apparently determined that it--I--must be some kind of mistake. Which, depending on your ideas about, you know, the particular discursive nature of gender in our society and everything, might in fact be more true than that person realized. LOL!

The moral of the story is obviously that NOBODY HARDLY EVER EXPECTS A TRANSSEXUAL (to exist). AJ will need to report back once he has determined how to best take advantage of this phenomenon (suprize! world domination?) but in the interim, recommendations are welcome.

youtube <3 <3 <3

2008-08-31T22:13:00.005-04:00

hey look i found my favorite song from when i was like 12. i haven't even thought about this movie (liquid sky) in like a decade.

w00t! youtube also has the trailer here. youtube and i are bff.

mpls is cool/poppin

2008-08-31T20:23:00.001-04:00

sum thoughts on aj's new abode:

whar is the blogosphere? here is a photoblog about uptown, which is basically like the park slope of the twin cities and is also adjacent to my nabe. i can't find anything interesting tho. andminneapolis luxury real estate blog, u r so not curbed. halp!

lakes. we haz dem. when people swim in them, they say they are going to "the beach."

this lil journalistic jewel was front page news last week. LOLWTF

AJ did go to the MINNESOTA STATE FAIR. AJ eated:

- cheese on a stick

- pizza on a stick

- corndog (on a stick)

- sausage on a stick (note for future reference: sausage on a stick = corndog)

- fried twinkie on a stick

Other things that can be eated on a stick can be viewed here.

Unfortunately by the time I'd finished eating I felt too sick to go see the barnyard animals :(

al franken is running for senate here and MY GF TOTALLY SAW HIM IN THE MSP AIRPORT.

speaking of political stuff somehow i've ended up with the rnc in town twice in a row! wtf aj h8s getting arrested and plans to have nothing to do with that dumb hoootnanny. also in anticipation the daily show has taken out some advertising along I-494. via. i also saw a billboard on hennepin advertising roast capitalist pig at some restaurant. le sigh.

being in a strange city and living on my own for the first time is pretty different, but dr. steve brule's pointers have been invaluable.

like the rest of urban american academia, the U of M american studies program is totally tranny chic, by which i mean there are a number of bespectacled white ftms in the program and i am told we are already being mistaken for each other lol. this is excellent news because aj has been in the market for a new avenue thru which to channel his righteous indignation for some time now.

the Cities also bear many commonalities to the City:

for instance, we have our own version of cattyshack.

also, like the only other two american cities i've lived in, streets in black neighborhoods have speed bumps in them (a la the south side of providence or bed stuy and brownsville in bklyn). aj is going to fess up about his own ignorance and ask if anyone can explain what the deal with that is (urban studies/urban planners amongst us?). it would obviously appear to be some form of social control but it would be nice to have a whole scoop.

also, on my way to work in midtown west/hell's kitchen, gentlemen used to offer to sell me fake IDs--and i would take on my best indignant affect and splutter "GOOD SIR, I AM TWENTY FOUR YEARS OF AGE!" similarly, here, as I passed by a liquor store a fellow lounging out by his car asked if i wanted him to go in and buy something for me (I assume he expected a modest commission for services rendered).

the main difference between minneapolis and nyc is that mpls is comparatively like a MASSIVE HIPPIE TOWN. however, this topic warrants a post of its own so i shall revisit it later. also ppl are pretty nice here but it is WEIRD.

also i will probably go ahead and post some photos soon cause god knows i have the time on my hands and for whatever reasons i feel less politically conflicted about doing that here.

kbai

o hai

2008-08-18T13:35:00.005-04:00

aj interrupts lolaj's impromptu sabbatical to say i am still trying to figure out how to reconcile this blogs content with the fact that i suddenly live in the MIDWEST (zomg!). tips re: the minneapolis blogosphere would be GREATLY APPRECIATED.

in the meantime, i bring you these nuggets:

Tyra brings MODEL OF TRANSGENDERED EXPERIENCE into next season of ANTM. HOLY SHIT! tyra u r such an ally

Also Ellen and Portia are TOTALLY MARRIED. But Tila is PISSED! Ingrates!
Tila, I would totally invite u to my gay marriage.

very important items

2008-07-09T11:46:00.011-04:00

One thing that is cool about sexual minorities is that we are always coming up with like new identities (can I get a "LGBTSTTQQIBDSMGNC"??). This is especially excellent for people like me and Judith (Jack? idk) Halberstam who suffer from really severe taxonomic impulses. One thing that is really funny is when ppl come up with new modes of identification and I totally don't take them seriously! LOL! But according to the innarwebs, G0Y IS NOW A MEME.

Also OMG AJ has been waiting for someone to write this post for a LONG ASS TIME. (It is a critique of Muslim women in comics focusing on Sooraya Qadir, otherwise known as "Dust," the niqab-clad mutant youth who first joined the Marvel universe during Grant Morrison's run

on New X-Men.) One thing AJ feels the article does not sufficiently stress however

is how fucking cool it is that Dust can like instantly strip all the flesh off of your bones by turning herself into a wicked sandstorm. In the subject of "uber pwnage" AJ is happy to award Dust with a final grade of EPIC WIN.

In other news, here is an example of why its dumb when liberals are like "why don't we just give cops tasers" because they think it will solve the problems.

Gawker endeavors an answer to AJ's age-old question: wtf is the deal with the MSM not caring about LinRon???

WAFL award: Park Slope parents are all like: Who do they think we are, people of color or something?

There are totally some raccoons in Brooklyn and other parts of the city too! They are definitely adorable and potentially a public health threat.

Also you definitely want to hear Racialicious weigh in on Logo's new(ish) show Gimme Sugar. Logo, lol. oh u.

And finally, AJ can think of no better way to leave his readers than with the words of this young warrior poet, for truly her work gives new meaning to our understanding of the erotic as power. Read poem here plz.

are you very bored at work?

2008-07-07T14:54:00.004-04:00

...WELL I HAVE EXCELLENT NEWS FOR YOU. Two sites that will easily kill AT LEAST an hour or so of your day.

Wikipedia: List of unusual deaths. (I skipped antiquity.)

ABC News: Medical Marvels slideshow! (sort of NSFW at times)

Bonus slideshow for my mormonphilic readers: RUMSPRINGA!

(WARNING: this slideshow is SURPRISINGLY BORING.)

QUICK HIT: YOUR LOLAJ MORNING TRAFFIC UPDATE

2008-07-03T11:47:00.008-04:00

What, dear readers, have you been googling to find me? I will tell you some highlights:

i hate diablo cody
jodie foster
they be stealin mah bukkit
"lesbianism is a political ideology"
"lolcats" "jackie warner"
diablo cody obnoxious
diablo cody and her feminist politics
the lighthearted feminism of a fine merlot
is lolspeak racist
dykes are the new fags
genderqueer brooklyn hipster 2008
h8 sex
flds women sexual frequency
lolesbians
look, it's terrible, i know, but weakness really, really bugs me, to the point that if there is a wounded bird on the sidewalk, i look at it and i go: i think i'll just kick it
roflcopter black white sex
timeout ny christian siriano white trash

plus like a dozen permutations of samantha ronson and lindsay lohan.

oops i meant to post this yesterday

2008-07-03T09:07:00.006-04:00

the good news is:

Some of you may be interested to learn that the Park Slope Armory, which will soon offer YMCA programs, used to be home court to the Smart Set Athletic Club, which assembled the first "formally organized and independent all-black basketball team." Admittedly, AJ has only really ever thought of the Armory as "that big building over near the Lesbian Herstory Archives" but you learn something new every day!

My girlfriend has appraised me that BAMs Afro-Punk festival includes a screening of The Federation of Black Cowboys which is a documentary on... YOU GUESSED IT! It's going to be awsum!! Aforementioned girlfriend and I occasionally see aforementioned black cowboys clip-clopping down the street with their ponies when we go to the Gateway Center out in East New York and we are really big fans.

the bad news is:

my girlfriend and i slept through a 2-alarm fire one block from our house at 2:30 this morning

mayor michael bloomberg is 'disgusted' by the death of esmin green, who waited almost 24 hours in a kings county hospital waiting room then keeled over, went into convulsions, and eventually died as staff continued to ignore her. the whole thing is on a (highly disturbing) surveillance tape... unfortunately for kings county hospital. readers may not be shocked to know that green was both a woman and of color, which likely goes some way towards explaining how the fuck someone can fall over and die in the middle of a hospital without anyone noticing. updated to add: aj just noticed womanist musings has a pretty ok post on green.

news that is neither obviously good nor bad:

the city is settling the shawn bell wrongful death suit but wtf happened to my link? i lost it

LOL! This article is silly! What is most silly is on the matter of the alleged anti-tight clothes movement in Brooklyn, the Voice abruptly defers to a presumed authority identified only as "Park Slope resident Jenny Brauer." Wtf who is that? And why is this "park slope resident" apparently the only one who has anything to say about homophobia?

So Starbucks is closing down 600 stores nationwide. Holy crap!

On the one hand: AJ thinks Starbucks is a loathsome union busting corporation hellbent on annihilating the locally-owned coffee shop with egregiously overpriced drinks that they bill as gourmet even though they taste like burnt dirt. Plus their baristas are poorly trained, most of their beans are procured without fair compensation to the farmers that grew them, and god knows what they add to their coffee to make it look dark like that (no, I assure you, that is not just the color of the roast).

On the other hand: Burnt dirt is a delicacy compared to the street stand coffee in my work neighborhood, which tastes like diesel fuel that somebody pooped in. And for someone with a caffeine dependency as formidable as mine, the local Starbucks--barring potable alternatives--is more of a "need" than a "want" for me. (And YES, before you suggest it, I HAVE tried brewing coffee in the office and it SIMPLY DOES NOT WORK for a number of reasons which for brevity's sake I will not explore here.) Also I am quite fond of the baristas at *my* Starbucks, who know me by name and habit and often give me discounts on my drinks (along with other freebies such as APPLE FRITTERS and compliments on my outfits). However, I'm fairly confident that my Starbucks is not underperforming and will ride out this string of closures with little trouble.

neway, i wonder if my coworkers can sense me not working...

strange things about homosocial (male) work environments

2008-07-02T15:55:00.003-04:00

My boss comes to work in a t-shirt and grabs one of my spare work shirts off its hanger saying "hey I can wear this, right?"
My other boss laments that he will have to take this week's Observer into the bathroom with him because the Post hasn't been delivered yet. I still need the Observer to look over the public notices section and listen in dismay to his griping.
Office small talk centers on comic books and frog jizz.
Pretty much everything can be expressed using warfare imagery. We are 'going to war' with a couple developers right now, so I find I spend most of my days either 'manning the cannons' or 'in the trenches' or stuff like that. This makes me feel pretty manly and righteous.
"Hey, man" is probably the most commonly-used phrase in the office, though my boss calls everyone "brother" since he is a real union man.
My girlfriend says the whole office smells funny.

TO BE CONTINUED!

i guess it was a pretty ok day for the news and stuff

2008-06-30T16:03:00.006-04:00

via Gawker, pearls of wisdom from Eric Schaefer, who explains The Way Things Are:

"In general, gay men don't want to fuck trannies.
In general, gay men don't want to get fucked by doms wearing strap ons.
In general, gay guys... like to fuck other gay guys.
In general, women, gay or straight, don't want to fuck trannies.
In general, women, gay or straight, don't want to get fucked in the ass by doms wearing strap ons. (Obviously lesbians have a slightly higher proclivity of course but that's mainly in their pussies, not in their asses.)
In general, bi sexual guys like real cocks when they fuck guys and therefore don't go in for doms, some for trannies but less so than good ole regular gay guys.
So that leaves one kind of people who are the NUMBER ONE GROUP INTERESTED in FUCKING OR GETTING FUCKED BY TRANNIES AND GETTING FUCKED IN THE ASS BY DOMS... wait for it... STRAIGHT MEN."

LOL! ...he goes on to talk about the str8 male-sustained multi-million dollar tranny escort industry and something about shemales. I TOTALLY CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE STILL SINGLE, ERIC!! also lol @ gawker for this one. Rock! \m/

AJ is pretty sure Entertainment Weekly's 26 best femme fatales just made him a lesbian all over again. Win! Why do I always forget that HOLLYWOOD is my #1 root???

^^^^Rock!!!!

Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl" is pearls before ~~swine~~ feminists.

Also. Z.O.M.G. lilo and sam are TOTALLY going to have a baby. sweet!

And there was like all this flooding at Carroll Street and 4th Ave last weekend.. CAN ANYONE TELL ME IF CATTYSHACK IS OK???

Finally, NY politicians totally heart pride I guess.

BEST local (and other) newz

2008-06-24T15:22:00.005-04:00

Curbed has fun pics of anti-Thor Equities folks at last weekend's Mermaid Parade which AJ did not attend cuz that shit is TOO CROWDED.

Speaking of Coney, Ayveq the masturbating walrus is dead :(

LOLIKEA: OFELIA VAG!

Best headline EVAR: "Judge: Naked Cowboy can Sue Blue M & M" Rock on, naked cowboy.

Rock on, Ashley Dupre!

Uh oh, gender is complicated, complicates marriage! (Oddly decent coverage by CNN!)

AJ is ETERNALLY indebted to Gawker for their Guide to the Weird Ronson Family

On other gay matters, however, Gawker falls a bit behind the times (omgz0rz gay men arrested for public sex???? No. Wai. no wai. srsly wtf.) wut is ur deal gawker

This lady totally just gave birth on an F Train platform. TO A BABY. Eek!

AJ is pretty sure this new blog, NIMBY Brooklyn, is POLITICALLY OBJECTIONABLE... and yet... oddly amusing.

Basically no one likes jails, including the city's plan to make the House of D on Atlantic Ave much bigger and better (at incarcerating ppl) New nabe group Stop Brooklyn House of D doesn't like jails either but, you know, mostly for the wrong reasons.

fin.

QUESTIONS

2008-06-24T12:18:00.006-04:00

I haz two:

1. There are railroad tracks that run east-west sort of along Avenue H that cut through my entire neighborhood. I believe the tracks go as far west as Sunset Park but I don't know how far east they run. Obviously, there are no subway lines that run east-west in this part of Brooklyn so it is not a subway. Also it is not LIRR or anything like that, duh. WHAT IS THIS?

and

2. It has recently come to my attention that there are MORMONS living IN my neighborhood.* OMG! Oft had I wondered who those roving groups of high school-aged youth were. They all wear the same conservative dress yet are not Hasidic, have matching name tags and, oddest of all, invariably smile and say HELLO to me whenever I pass! Quoth my girlfriend: "What the hell AJ we've talked about this like eight times already why can't you remember anything?" WHENCE CAME THEY? WHEREFORE LIVEST THEY IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD? It is very curious. I did not know there were any Mormons in this fine borough.

Anyone who can shed light on either of these matters will receive a PRIZE.

* It is sort of like finding a fish in your percolator.

EDITED TO FIX: massive proofreading fail.

oh my

2008-06-23T22:31:00.008-04:00

For anyone who remembers these from her or his kiddie years, this video might be the most horrifying (amazing?) thing you have seen. Holy shitsticks!

ZOMG HAAAAALP!!!!

ALSO: OTHER SIGNIFICANT MUPPET NEWS.

here is a monday post from aj

2008-06-23T09:56:00.006-04:00

OK here are sum soundbytes from the intarwebs

"This teacher has a history of encouraging noogie behavior."

"It looked horrific," he said. "Fifi was lying there covered in blood."

Instructional Video: Queefing

"enjoy my visual retrospective of the city's lost queer fetish clubs"

"The High Court in South Africa has ruled that Chinese South Africans are to be reclassified as black people" Wat!! Via.

here are the most evar:

MOST adorable epidemic EVAR!

MOST offensive neighborhood blog EVAR!

MOST annoying analysis EVAR!

MOST played-out progressive viewpoint EVAR!

MOST comprehensive SATC movie post EVAR!

AND IN OTHER NEWS:

Happy belated Juneteenth!

The New York Times and Colorlines both have things to say about Border Patrol. Eek!

An intersex man raised as a woman becomes the second Bahraini FTM to have their sex change legally recognized by the courts. Neat! AJ noticed that: 1) Fox News could learn a few things about correct pronoun usage from Al Arabiya, and 2) The article reports the Bahraini Health Ministry paid for the dude's SRS. WTG Bahrain! Also: Via!

Bilerico has a post on fa'afine ppl in Samoa. LOL SCIENCE! if it weren't for science, how would we understand anything? Also this thing was posted like the same exact day the guy who cuts my hair was trying to chat me up about fa'afines and i was all like ummm wtf!

Also police brutality against trans ppls makes AJ an exceptionally sad panda :( Also an update.

But on a happier note, Gawker: Why Lindsay Lohan is a Gay Hero. NEED I SAY MOAR???

ok tahtsall 4 now bai

UPDATED TO ADD: oh also duh! the convictions of 2 of the New Jersey 4 were overturned the other day OMG w00t! TIMES INFINITY. For anyone who doesn't already know, the NJ4 was basically a vicious lesbian gang. JK! They are four black lesbians (originally a group of seven) who got into an altercation with a d00d who was like rly mad when they were not wooed by his advances, so he decided to like throw his cigarette at them and spit and say some srsly rude things. Neway after defending themselves they all ended up getting 3-11 year prison sentences. LOL criminal justice! Anyway the other two convictions are pending and folks are hopeful that they will be overturned as well.

UPS AND DOWNS

2008-06-18T11:54:00.005-04:00

k so some of these are old by now since i haven't posted in a while... YET AND STILL...

ZOMG! Mapquest only for bikes makes cyclists WINNARS

daria = perpetual win

Beverly Hills hotel experiences gender fail.

This d00d is trying to correct electoral politics-related gender fail only he FORGOT ABOUT ANGIE... YA DOOFUS!

TILA TEQUILA. words do not describe the fail (win?)! DO NOT FORGET TO SEND HER A CARD SAYING THANK YOU FOR YOUR MARRIAGE EQUALITY. rofl!

In the meantime, queer ppl win at complaining about everything.

Lobster fail. =C

NYT: Age is the new race/gender. Wat? taht is some sort of political fail.

flatbush gardener WINZ at his overview of the flatbush rezoning

And read about this dude for EPIC HIPSTER FAIL

And as far as I know the only thing left to say is ZOMG IKEA IKEA IKEA IKEA IKEA IKEA (etc)!!!! Death of Red Hook or single greatest event since Jesus? YOU DECIDE. Of particular note is the presence of my urban planner GIRLFRIEND at the opening ceremony--Dept of City Planning Chair and socialite extraordinaire AMANDA BURDEN (looking AWFULLY smart in that yellow suit). AJ thinks Ms. Burden is both classy and hilarious, in a highly nefarious sort of way. It is pretty hard to encapsulate Burden's nutty shenanigans on a mere blog, but this video of her unwelcome support for Shoot the Freak (and Bloomberg's ensuing eyeroll) is pretty classic. (NYT also had a pretty informative profile a while back: "Once at Cotillions, Now Reshaping the Cityscape" LOL!)

YOU ARE WELCOME

2008-06-13T23:32:00.004-04:00

Intersections: YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG.

2008-06-06T09:12:00.007-04:00

Here is a half page ad in the NYT

Here to read text in original. And below:

One of American's Most Popular Pastimes. Americans spend a lot of time in their cars. Not because they want to. But because of massive traffic congestion. And almost daily gridlock. For many people, commutes to work and school and daycaer can take up to three hours a day. According to traffic management experts, it's only going to get worse if our population continues its present growth rate. In many American cities, it's the same stress with our schools, our emergency rooms, our public infrastructure, even our water resources. A majority of Americans agree that runaway population growth threatens their quality of life. But with US Census projects indicating our population will explode from 300 million to 400 million in thirty years and 600 million in 2100, quality of life for future generations will be gone unless we take action today. The Pew Hispanic Research Center projects 82% of the country's massive future population increase will be a result of immigration between 2005 and 2050. And for every four new U.S. residents whether from births or immigration, approximately three more cars are added to our roads, increasing gridlock, energy use and greenhouse emissions. Together we can do something about it. We're the nation's leading experts on population and immigration trends and growth. Visit our websites to learn more and find out how you can help. Because wasting hours in your car is one pastime you can do without.

LOL! Thanks to feministing for the DELICIOUS COPYPASTA. also moar posting l8er.

all the important local haps thanks to lolaj

2008-05-30T13:01:00.010-04:00

Unlike feminism, Sex and the City transcends race, class! LOL WTG! It is a girl/universal thing!

And also Feministing has weighed in on the Times Magazine cover story on Emily Gould, who is sort of like Carrie Bradshaw only with SEXY TATS.

This nonprofit tried to get an office lease in Brooklyn but had to settle for Lower Manhattan because it was cheaper. Wat!

Also a crane toppled over (again) this morning and killed some people (again). wtf DOB, why can't u get ur act together? possibly because the present mayoral administration would rather eat radioactive glass than do anything that could potentially impede upon development. Also Bloomberg's comments on the radio early this morning included the following nuggets:

"We're not going to tolerate any rate of accidents any higher than it has to be."

and

"It may just be a piece of steel breaks and there's nothing you could have ever done about it."

WUT

AJ is at a bit of a loss to understand the workings of these mindgrapes but his best guess is that construction workers dying probably has something to do with the free market regulating itself or is it COLLATERAL DAMAGE ("higher than it has to be"??). FURTHER INSIGHT IS WELCOMED.

In happier news, OMG David Paterson TOTALLY LOVES GAY PPL WHY. Because of Uncle Stanley and Uncle Ronald! omg thx, uncles!

What do the "young and old, black and Jewish, rich and poor" residents of Crowne Heights have in common? They all h8 homeless ppl! (Possibly even more than they h8 each other!)

And finally, HAPPY BDAY TO MY PLAZA. damn ur old. 100 BIRTHDAY HITZ for the countries (sic) oldest outdoor pedestrian mall (zomg!) \o/

UPDATE ON LESBIANS and stuff

2008-05-28T14:58:00.002-04:00

OMG this has been a BIG week for lesbians!

This article may shed some light on the question that has been burning in all of your mindgrapes, by which I mean: JODIE OMFG WHY DID U LEAVE BEAUTIFUL CYDNEY????! An lolAJ tipster has drawn my attention to the quotation from Foster at the end, which doesn't have anything to do with beautiful Cyd but begs highlighting:

[Foster] added: "Look, it's terrible, I know, but weakness really, really bugs me, to the point that if there is a wounded bird on the sidewalk, I look at it and I go: 'I think I'll just kick it.'"

wat! Jodie! u dont mean that.

And in case you thought your lesbian news could get no moar exciting than the dish on the Foster-Beautiful Cydney-Jacko triangle, let me paint this picture for you:

LiLo+ Samantha Ronson + lesbian wedding + DOLLYWOOD

=

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Is this story true??? Is it? More articles have been cropping up since it was first brought to my attention so I'd say THINGS ARE LOOKING GOOD. TAKE THAT, STUBBORNLY HETEROSEXIST PPL WHO WANT TO MAKE ALL MY LESBIAN CELEBRITIES INTO FRIENDS! WTFPWNED!

Anyway, in case you also care about other things, here is some stuff I noticed in the blogowebz recently:

OK AJ is basically completely nonplussed about Rebecca Walker's like total public uber pwnage of her mom. I guess like Walker Sr.'s feminism ruined her life? Did u do it for the lulz, Rebecca? I feel uncomfortable. The Feministe commenters on this subject are not a total waste of time to read.

Feministe has also weighed in on child pornography and the recent Supreme Court ruling, which upheld the illegality of distributing kiddie porn even if it there are no kids in it... in other words, if your CP is rendered from computer imagery, digitally altered photos of adults, or stuff like that, it is still totally illegal! AJ is PRETTY INCLINED TO AGREE with the thoughts of the feminists on this one, and also with this original poster though AJ might add something about problematizing the construction of the pedophile in these conversations. Or whatever.

Simyo Mobile wins at gay-targeted advertising.

Quick hits: Jezebel on BDSM:

S&M is like the Hot Topic in the mall of sexuality. It's trying to be different, it's trying to freak you out, it's trying to piss off parents, but in the end, it's really kind of…normal.)

LOL!

And Christian Siriano has stopped being funny:

"If you think of heterosexuals, they have white-trash women and trailer parks, and we have drag queens and trannies. I don’t know if I’m the one who can explain it. It’s, like, drag queens are just there."

:-O

Neway, in NYC.

The Times discovers white ppl discovering Kensington! via Flatbush Gardener. AJ would only like to add that Coney Island Avenue is basically one of my favorite streets in NYC and I took all these pictures of it once but then didn't post them cause I thought it would be too voyeuristic (I mean it's not even really my neighborhood) and just because I secretly have a little bit of an authenticity fetish sometiems doesn't mean I have to go around advertising it. Sigh.

White ppl also like Coney Island and want to save it. Other ppl like Coney Island too! Basically everyone does. Here is a curbed post on wut the haps are there in case you didn't already know. Joseph Sitt, who heads Thor Equities (and wants to buy up the whole area and make it into like Vegas or something with new shiny rides and fancy hotels) has basically decided to run an amusement park in competition with Astroland which is teh suck. Confirming suck status is Thor's choice to call it "summer of hope." wtf does that even mean? Also I can't believe I forgot to mention this story before, in which a Ruby's Bar and Grill person plummets through the floor of their bathroom, landing in the bar's basement covered in poo. Eek!

Excellent news for the trans?

2008-05-28T11:33:00.010-04:00

I just stumbled across this news item completely randomly, and am wondering if some transgender type person who's more politically connected than me might be able to illuminate the situation further. This is the first I've heard of it and my curiosity is piqued.

In short, it seems New York state has reached an agreement with Homeland Security to issue "enhanced drivers licenses" to U.S. citizens who live in New York. The licenses will, as far as I can understand, satisfy the identity document requirement for traveling to Canada, Mexico, and the Caribbean, thus eliminating the need for a passport when visiting these countries. Interesting! It will cost more than a regular drivers license ($30 more, to be precise) but less than a passport and should be implemented as early as this August.

TRANS 101 SECTION (optional reading!):

For those of you who are not in the know, I will explain for you: if you are a trangendered person, the requirement for changing the gender signifier on your passport is bottom surgery--aka sex reassignment surgery, aka genital surgery (do I rly need to do trans 101 here? IDK!). For many (if not most) trans people, especially FTMs, this is prohibitively expensive and also often undesirable. So you are shit out of luck if you want a passport with the right gender on it. If you are reading this and are not an expert at trans politics, you should basically just know that the various laws dictating the medical requirements for changing gender on identity documents are INCREDIBLY STUPID AND ARBITRARY. They are also pretty classist and dependent on conventional models of medical transition that lots of folks don't want to follow for plenty of good reasons. In the case of passports is that it's nigh impossible for a whole bunch of (most of?) trans folks to leave the country without using an identity document that inaccurately reflects their gender. If you're someone who has a full beard and a booming baritone voice but your passport says "F"... you may just cruise on through customs (last time I left the country everyone who looked at my passport called me "mister"--whiteness FTW!)... OR you might find yourself in any number of extremely unpleasant situations with the customs folks. As a former anthro professor said to me, "At least you're not changing your name to Mohammed."

ANYWAY. Unlike passports, gender signifiers on New York State drivers licenses are super easy to change! There is no surgery or hormone therapy requirement at all, just a doctor's letter affirming your transness (which is a piece of cake to get from Callen-Lorde). If NYS drivers licenses now suffice for international travel in the western hemisphere, that is a HUGE change in the accessibility of documents that would help trans people safely travel outside the U.S. For someone like me who is pretty bougie and likes to go on vacation sometimes, that's big!

I am curious if there are any transgender experts who can confirm what the deal is with this legislation, because there are a few shady bits of the article, in particular, this other article states, "Applicants will have to bring identification and go for a 10-minute verification interview or go through a two-step process that involves seeing two DMV agents." That sounds creepy. Also the requirement of birth certificates to prove citizenship for these licenses could also conceivably throw a wrench in the whole thing since they are also more difficult to get changed.

ANYWAY WHAT IS THE DEAL. AJ WANTS TO KNOW.

lol-aj.livejournal.com presents: MY FAMILY

2008-05-27T10:24:00.006-04:00

a normal family ^^^

Would you like to know moar about the family ties that probably play some part in what makes AJ tick? Of course you would! This weekend I visited the familia in my fine home state of Rhode Island and here are some highlights:

My mom got into an altercation with a protester outside of Providence's Planned Parenthood. She and my younger sister were actually going to the bakery next door, but seeing a mother-daughter pair approaching, the protesters apparently made some assumptions and starting shoving dead baby pamphlets in their faces. As the exchange escalated my mom apparently lost her temper and shouted into the guy's face, "I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING--I'M A CHRISTIAN, AND YOU KNOW WHAT?? IF JESUS WERE HERE HE WOULD NOT BE DOING THIS!!"

Thanks to my little brother, I have a whole new musical genre to enjoy, one which I had not previously given much consideration: VIKING METAL. Of particular interest is Turisas, the most epic band EVAR, who "combine elements of folk and power metal"and are named after the Finnish god of war. If you like the idea of a metal show where everyone is dressed like a viking and "thee" and "thou" are the preferred second person pronouns, THIS IS THE BAND FOR YOU.

I am reminded that gender ambiguity is something of a family legacy when my father discusses the merits of Grand Junction's cowboy bars with my aunt's newish husband. He concedes that said bars have a real appeal but points out that as a longhair in the 1970s, his most frequent exchange with the cowboys of rural Colorado centered on the question (here he affects his best drawl) "Are yew a boy or are yew a girl?"

Rat on cat on dog

2008-05-23T10:05:00.012-04:00

Greg Pike, animal owner: "I DID IT TO PROVE IT COULD BE DONE." MOAR AWSUM WERDS WUR NEVAR SAYD! Big ups to Feministe for bringing this story to my attention--because stacking animals is a feminist issue too! AJ would like to respectfully point out that rat on cat on dog is also a queer issue. JUST FOR THE RECORD.

What else is a feminist or a queer issue? In the interest of RAISING CONSCIOUSNESS and promoting real sustained INTERSECTIONAL analyses AJ wants to take reader submissions! Here are examples to get you started:

AND

~ AJ, mappin' the margins

lolesbians!

2008-05-22T10:58:00.028-04:00

Bad news for my queer-savvy bff Nell cuz it looks like CYNTHIA NIXON might be taking up the lolAJ post as resident lesbian expert spokesperson. Deborah Solomon thinks she works for the Post in this recent Times Magazine piece and Miranda doesn't even miss a beat!

Obviously, there’s a disjunction between your own life and the characters in this film. Very much so.

A few years ago, you moved in with a woman, after leaving the father of your children. Do you find it easier living with a woman than a man because you have more in common? I think you do have more in common.

You can use the same bathroom in movie theaters, for instance. That’s absolutely true!

Can you share clothes? No. Christine doesn’t wear women’s clothes; she only wears men’s clothes. She won’t even wear any kind of women’s shoes. I bought her a pair of cowboy boots that were from the women’s department, and she was like, “Don’t do this again.”

Does she watch sports on TV? She does. We don’t have a TV. But when there was a World Cup, we went to the local Ruby Foo’s and watched it. And we actually did watch the Super Bowl as well. She tried to explain it to me.

Do you think of her as the male figure in the relationship? No, I don’t at all. Look at what’s happening now. She’s at home with the kids, and I’m the one out pounding the pavement. . . . She’s for Hillary, and I’m for Obama.

LOL! As you can see, Nixon is not only extremely knowledgeable about lesbian stuff, but she is also an expert at delivering concise, straightforward explanations that everyday people can understand. Also it seems like she knows like tons about gender too, which I guess makes sense since I am told that gender and lesbian issues are closely related! Just off the top of my head, AJ can think of LOADS of questions I'd like to ask her, for instance, "if that's what you're into, why don't you just date a man?" and "how long have you been a vegetarian?" So all in all AJ is very happy to welcome Cynthia Nixon to the lolAJ writing staff. Also thanks 4 the tip feministing!

Other noteworthy lesbians making recent headlines include Jodie Foster, who has apparently broken up with her Beautiful Cydney! omg that is so sad. Fortunately we can all count on Perez
to set the record straight:
ROFL! also michael jackson called. he wants his dna back.

*ahem* NEWAY, back to lesbians....

ELLEN HAS CREATED SOME SRSLY AWKWARD MOMENTS WITH JOHN MCCAIN. wtf ellen u make me so uncomfortabel sometimes

And finally, if you are a longtime fan of lesbians you may have also heard of "queer men" which are basically like the poor man's lesbians! Like Maureen Dowd, they sometimes have things to say about gender and even feminism so there's like this new anthology out and maybe you want to read it (or instead just look at everyone's pictures like i did).

AJ leaves you with this closing photo, courtesy of Jezebel...

THE END!

ps damn there sure were a lot of white ppl on lolaj today wtf is up w that aj

Y HALO THAR!*

2008-05-20T10:00:00.006-04:00

o here is wut r teh haps in my city:

Parks Dept: NO HUGZ 4 U!

New York Times: Park Slope is Now A Meme. Like many Brooklyn transplants, AJ luvs to h8 on Park Slope, and this article has some real gems, eg:

“This whole thing sounds like white people being annoyed by and jealous of other white people, which I find kind of funny,” said James Bernard, a union organizer and a member of the local Community Board 6. “I live in the Slope. I love it. I talk about it as much as anyone else does. But I founded a charter school near Brownsville and I don’t hear anyone talking about Park Slope over there.”

wtfLOLOLOLOLOL1!!

and in other news:

OMG HERE IS A CATBUS!

ALSO MARRIAGE IS A DREAM WITHIN A DREAM! this article seyz gay marriage is about love not like gender or race or stuff like that. LOL! some ppl (whiny progressives who are basically always unhappy) soemtimes disagree. other ppls are just wishing folks would stop comparing us to like crazy mormons and whatnot (needless to say aj is tickled that concerned womyn for america notice the conexion). also not to be nitpicky about taht other article, but i'm pretty sure cali still has incest laws, so it's not actually true that the supreme court decision means that "any two adults who are in love" can get married. IM SRY I JUST THINK ITS AN IMPORTANT POINT OK.

also wtf is wrong with u ppl IT'S SPELLED BOUGIE. srsly! u poll voters need to LURK MOAR but every1 else VOTE MOAR i know ur out there why dont u vote in my polls?

k thats all 4now

*no buttsecks thx aj is not even going to ask that is srsly lewd.

Christian Siriano: some of my best friends are hot tranny messes!

2008-05-19T12:14:00.004-04:00

So wtf XTIAN SIRIANO wruh??? Apparently he is designing PROM AVATAR OUTFITS for some interwebs thing? The Times interviewed Siriano, enabling the coinage a new tranny-relevant catchphrase ("Omigod, I would have been so superhero tranny" (!!!)), but admittedly AJ was only halfway interested until this question:

Let’s back up to “hot tranny messes.” I have been wondering, has there been backlash from the tranny community since you made that the biggest put-down of all time?
No! the trannies LLLLLOVE me, are you kidding?? I kinda use it in a negative way sometimes but I’m meaning it with love. I mean, I love Candice Cayne — she’s fabulous and we are so close — so I would never hate on trannies.

QFT! LOL AJ hereby revokes all prior indictments of the use of "hot tranny mess" b/c I had no idea that all along it was meant WITH LOVE. CHRISTIAN UR LOVE MEANS EVERYTHING 2 ME!!!1 xoxoxoxo also he is like tots BFF with Candice Cayne omg so that obvs changes everything! im sry 4 being such a h8er christian

Real-life proms that probably ONLY had cisgendered messes in attendance include the Colorado Springs Father-Daughter Purity Ball, which sounds like it was probably about as much fun as like, going to the prom with yr dad or something.

BLOGGING RULEZ

2008-05-16T11:00:00.005-04:00

...but werking SUX ugh.

lolAJ will BRB.

im sry guiys.

IN THE MEANTIME:

HERE IS A LINK

HERE IS A LINK FOR GREAT JUSTICE

LINK WTF!

LINK OMGWTF! OMG. WTF. BBQ. OMG.

LINK

also i heard something is happened w/ the gay ppl wut is teh deal with that

OK 2 THINGS

2008-05-08T11:13:00.010-04:00

ok ~~two~~ three things:

1. Why is AM-NY like always trying to pimp my nabe! Wtf! at least they got the neighborhood boundaries right this time. also re, 773 lounge, why would you call something a hipster-free
watering hole, AMNY? srsly why would u do that? that is like ASKING THEM ALL TO COME. also i've never been there but i dont really believe that its hipster free b/c that's the ONLY WAY i've ever heard the place described and yet it is always in publications that hipsters would read.

2. Another reason why ~~kids~~ excuse me, YOUNG PEOPLE rock moar than grownups. Ie: as many as 60 friends and allies of a transgendered student in Brewster, NY are cross dressing at school to show their support and to protest anti-trans sentiment from other students/teachers. Also LOL @ the brief NY Daily News coverage which concludes with, "the school says Loscalzo is free to dress as a girl as long as he (sic) follows the dress code. FAIR ENOUGH, though AJ advocates reparations for trans ppls that includes lifetime exemption from all dress codes.

2. Also via Hugo Schwyzer, I found this article on men in women's studies programs at University of Chicago which I found to be pretty much like

JK!! AJ's totally going to use words anyway! except my analysis is pending the completion of some of the werk i actually get paid to do so that will be l8er [UPDATED TO ADD: much l8er]. for now i urge attention to this particular passage, which in truth merits no earthly response beyond the facepalm:

“Stuart [Michaels] said this thing I thought was amazing. ‘I’m a Hutu, you’re a Tutsi. I’m going to kill you for it. I’m going to marginalize, dehumanize, kill you for being in a category I’ve placed you into.’ He was comparing this political situation to incidents of hate crimes you hear about because someone is gay. ‘I’m straight, you’re gay. I’m going to kill you for it,’” Klein recalled.

ackackackackackgag

oh also AJ would like to amend this quotation from the same male major, from:

A man getting a gender studies major is most likely to be gay.

to:

A man getting a gender studies major is most likely to be gay OR LIKE A MASSIVE TRANSSEXUAL OR SOMETHING.

tho in truth AJ has noticed that the preferred MO of translike gender studies majors tends to be more along the lines of genderqueer or something wonky like that. LOLgenderqueers!*

POST SCRIPT: Should AJ go to the Brooklyn Blogfest tonight???? OMG I am so totally torn wut 2 do.

* jk AJ totally hearts genderqueers xoxoxo in fact HE USED TO BE ONE

wut are teh newz o ok i will tell u

2008-05-06T11:48:00.003-04:00

This seems pertinent: Mildred Loving died last Tuesday. Loving's marriage to a white man ended up overturning the Racial Integrity Act, the last set of miscegenation laws banning interracial marriages. It's pretty sad that she died, but it LOOKS LIKE LOVE/ING CONQUERED ALL. Also AJ finds that picture adorable. The article notes that Loving issued a statement on the 40th anniversary of her supreme court ruling in support of same-sex marriages but AJ would like to point out that that is NOT A VALID COMPARISON because homosexual marriages CANNOT PRODUCE CHILDREN.

And NYT on Jezebel.com: OMG, girls are like SO CATTY!

Speaking of which, WTF LILO WHY DID U STEAL THAT WOMAN'S COAT???

Wow, ONE MOAR REASON not to adopt internationally... I... guess?

And @ crotchcam guy, d00ds are all liek, zomg! stop peepin me plz!@ WTF DO NOT WANT 2 HAS SEXUALIZING W/OUT CONSENT. Le sigh. AJ haz an eyeroll at ur unremarkable objectificashuns, d00dz.

EGADS TEH WHITE PPLS ARE COMING! FRANKLIN PARK ZOMG!!!! admittedly aj thinks those beers sound delish.

SATC cast: NO HITS PLZ!

IT ARE BIKE MONTH!!!1 w00t! every1 go get ur bikes and ride them plz. Counterpoint: bikes are for hippies.

And save Myrtle the Turtle from cruel and unusual paintjobs plz!

Also there seems to be sum confusion as to whether Jose the Bronx beaver is D-E-D ded?

And if u want still moar sad animal news, this eagle got her beak shot off but fortunately due to SCIENCE we can make her a PROSTHESIS.

ur weekly roundup with lolAJ

2008-05-02T10:21:00.007-04:00

OK HERE IS A POST U A$$HOLES------

Lesbians sue lesbians for defamation! LOL, rock on lesbians (wait which)

For those of you who don't already know, AJ really wishes that Paula Abdul could be his mom. She is just so sweet, eg:

...aww xoxoxoxo paula u r so cute why

Which is why I've been pretty upset about this brouhaha surrounding Paula's judging snafu from the other night. POOR PAULA. At least NY Mag does not stoop to the level of slander of some other sources by accusing Paula of being on drugs. Wtf that is like SO HURTFUL guiys. AJ thinks her explanation (derided by some as "long-winded"!!!) is TOTALLY UNDERSTANDABLE. Jebus, every1 LEAVE PAULA ALONE PLZ. Also David Archuleta SUCKS SO BAD i want to punch him ugh. oops how did i miss this article b4.

Secret service agent is suspended for hanging a noose in one of their training buildings. (Note the "related" headlines ftw: Obama Gets Secret Service Protection, Secret Service Agent Shoots Car. Way2go guyz)

Kai Wright asks a PERTINENT QUESTION and 100 Blacks in Law Enforcement Who Care tell u what to do when stopped by the police.

And Racism Review on white ppl and Reverend Wright and here is a pretty awsum Top 10 replete with nuggets of wisdom from McCain-backing Pastor John Hagee, who is like, still awaiting public denunciation from McCain? Maybe his denunciation got lost in the mail.

A WINNAR is Disgrasian for knowing the most important commentary on the Miley Cyrus debacle is the commentary provided by TILA TEQUILA!!!1 Awsum!

Can anyone tell AJ anything about this movie?

O...M...G.

UPDATED TO ADD: Oops! I am such a loser for not including this article about all the women from the firm of he-who-must-not-be-named who are SUING FOR DISCRIMINATION. Bloomberg LP's official stance is MAGIC IS MIGHT.

ALSO: this one time I was describing my alma mater's swimming requirement (yes it was one of those schools where you had to pass a swim test to graduate) and he asked, isn't that kind of racist? And I think I said, ummmmm as opposed to the entire rest of the core curriculum??? But it turns out he was even RIGHTER THAN I THOUGHT.

AND: LET'S NOT FORGET DOLLY, K?

Do FLDS women really need saving?

2008-04-30T14:13:00.005-04:00

OK other pertinent news notwithstanding, AJ's pretty interested in things that make feminists go ZOMG! and also more generally in non-normative sexual/familial formations, so it's with some interest that I've been perusing the coverage of the raid on the FLDS's YFZ Ranch. In particular, alternet had an article recently, which Feministe covered, leaving my mindgrapes rather piqued.

QUESTIONS RAISED:

AJ is wondering whether thinking about illiberal subjectivities might be a useful way to ponder women of the FLDS persuasion. (I think the answer might be PROBABLY YES.)

Does the MSM really care about FLDS women? (of course not stupid) SO WHAT IS UP WITH THAT. We already know that when ppl are like "im in ur country havin non-nuclear familes" Americans are all DO NOT WANT. Also those ladies wear weird dresses.

Apropos, feminist/progressive coverage of the YFZ ranch women raises questions for AJ as to the usefulness of our concepts of things like social control and also agency. In particular, it is interesting that the Feministe post focuseson the existence of autonomous internal social institutions that the FLDS had implemented (hospitals, police and court system) as evidence of the pervasiveness of FLDS coercive control of its members. Most the women who have now found themselves the subject of massive media scrutiny, of course, have expressed little other than ongoing devotion to the church--much to the consternation of progressives, feminists, and MSM alike, who now struggle to reconcile the imperative to recognize a "woman's statement of consent" (Feministe commenter) with the fact that they think the FLDS is like seriously fucked up.

Also the frequency with which the word "cult" (also "brainwashing") has been used in conjunction with FLDS is striking to AJ's mindgrapes. AJ is wondering whether maybe some of these blog commenters secretly think Islam is maybe a tiny bit cultish? Completely different only not: Feministing had a thing the other day that referenced Stockholm Syndrome re: a particular young person's recent decision to publicly invoke her sexuality.

As raised by a srsly LIBERAL friend of mine: "But AJ, do you really want to condone the abuse of women and children?" I GUESS NOT. But, as I was quick to point out, I am like PRETTY RADICAL and as such it is not my job to have "solutions," only to criticize ppl who do have them.

On a different note, Southern Poverty Law Center had a post on how FLDS h8s black ppl. Did we not already know that? AJ fails to see the smoking gun, tho it is fair to point out that the newz is usually pretty into ignoring racism. (Ok SPLC, upon further reflection, I AGREE!)

And um, wouldn't it be crazy if like, people of color (for instance, ppl of African descent) had like their own compounds somewhere with their own medical providers and internal mechanisms of enforcing law and order and they pretty much had authority over themselves and could govern themselves however they thought would best benefit their community and for the most part THE GOVERNMENT BASICALLY LEFT THEM ALONE? Zomg that would be so totally CRAZY!*

AND FINALEMENT If this post's title has raised questions in YOUR mindgrapes about why do I not just say what I mean, and you have not had the pleasure of reading Lila Abu-Lughod's piece, you may do so here.

* o wait i forgot we totally firebomb ppl like that.

mundayz make me go DO NOT WANT

2008-04-28T09:35:00.010-04:00

Poor Miley is on the front page of the New York Post today... AJ sort of feels like she should be allowed to have a sexuality if that's what she's into. Obvs when it comes to the sexuality of minors America is all like "DO NOT WANT! ...umm ok, sort of want?" in that every1 is super anxious to build up and then lay siege to the virginities of our most virginal celebrities. What AJ also wants to know is where is Annie Liebovitz in all this? Like, nobody cares? This is the second time in the last month that she's done a photo shoot that made everyone go all ZOMG! and there has been surprisingly little discussion of the photographer in either instance.

AJ can has homonormativity? Also interesting is this other NYT piece about how marriage/gender can get KIND OF CONFUSING SOMETIMES. AJ has resolved to only ever have a state-sanctioned marriage and this article brings me NO CLOSER to figuring out which gender that would involve me marrying. Curses!

Queerty has something to say about all this.

Zomg! Dwnd!

NYT on employment for former prisoners.

The rest of us have been making feminism srsly unpleasant for women of color bloggers lately. (im sry guize) It are pretty difficult to blame them.

Also this lady totally stabbed this other lady for being too loud while she was trying to watch America's Next Top Model. LOL WUT!

^^^^angkor wat

UPDATE: lol since i wrote this stuff Gawker totally did a post that was all like, Annie Leibovitz: BLAME BLAME BLAME BLAME BLAME!!!!!

moar aj am quik linkz

2008-04-25T10:31:00.002-04:00

THIS EXPLAINS A LOT.

How can AJ be this teacher's BFF 4 lyfe?

Poor Wesley Snipes got the book thrown at him: a three year prison sentence for doing something funky with his taxes! AJ wants to know what the world is coming to when a MOVIE STAR from HOLLYWOOD can't buy his way out of three years of jail time over stupid TAXES. AJ smells a RACISM. Another article that I can't find anymore mentioned that Judge Joe Brown appeared as a character witness for Snipes, which somehow just makes me feel worse for him.

More on the inexplicable platonicization of Lilo and Sam (aw, AJ realizes they are just like a lesbian disney movie). And still MOAR. But srsly guise. WTF!

Rock on, Alia Sabur! \m/ (via feministing)

And on a more sobering note, in case anyone needs a reality reminder, here are a list of things that cannot be proven beyond a reasonable doubt by firing 50 bullets at an unarmed black man:

Manslaughter, 1st degree
Manslaughter, 2nd degree
Assault, 1st degree (x2)
Reckless endangerment (x2)

OMFGWTF SHOULDER PADS?!!!1

2008-04-23T09:35:00.006-04:00

"AJ," my friends sometimes say to me, "You are like, SO RADICAL, why do you have even a little sympathy for Hillary Clinton?"

To which I responds:

1. FEMINISM.

2. ~~AJ likes him an underdog (LOL).~~ look i h8 ppl who h8 clinton more than i h8 clinton, ok?

3. Maureen Dowd.

BONUS LINK: Is Bushwick BK the most racist neighborhood blog EVAR? YOU DECIDE!

o hai. i made u an update.

2008-04-22T10:24:00.012-04:00

A WINNER IS DANICA PATRICK!!! (first woman EVAR to place first in an IndyCar race!!1)

Rock on Danica! \m/ Most of you probably do not know that MY GRANDMOTHER (my dad's mom) also raced cars as a hobby. Granny had an Alfa Romeo which she track- and road raced and was the western U.S. women's division champ so often she was asked to move up a class (so she had to buy a porsche cause she was all liek, i can has MOAR engine plz?) My DAD reports that she was SORT OF A BIG DEAL and so when she had mechanical difficulties Alfa flew in some d00ds from Milan to fix it. Neway she eventually quit cause auto racing is like TOO EXPENSIVE or something.

neway.

OMG WHY r I SO 0PPRESSED0rzed. Rhode Island supreme court sayz, gay divorce? NO WAI. Due to not knowing very much about politics and whatnot, AJ is caught UNAWARES that the governor of my fair home state is like this republican d00d who basically h8s gay ppl. David Cicilline is all like, "ummm thats awkward."

A winner is Nas. (jk... wtf!!? via.)

R U SRS?? detainees will be required to submit to DNA swabs at US-Canadian border. via. Patricia Corwell* will probably be pretty psyched, however, since she's always worried about like crime and stuff.

This article needs no introduction.

LOL! She's just bein' Miley!

AJ has always thought the terracotta army is pretty cool. Now because of SCIENCE we know that the whole thing was covered in egg during construction to act as a binder, which makes it DELICIOUS ARMY! NOM NOM NOM NOM

LOL @ "homeland security!" (homeless man finds WTC plans in a trash can wtf!)

Cripchick has sum things to say about ableism and the right to parent.

Patricia Lancaster, NYC's Buildings Commissioner, resigned today. She was the first woman to fill the post, so that kind of sucks, but u know what else sucks? The Department of Buildings! Srsly AJ doesn't really have expository energy today but for those of u who don't care about news, the DOB is like hot tranny mess supreme. Probably the article i just linked to says something about that. But really, as the first commenter points out, the problem has less to do with the buildings commissioner per se, and more with the fact that Slytherin's heir is running New York City.

Boro Park residents H8 TREES! (because the city is giving them TOO MUCH green. Do not want!) a very special winner is Gus Caleca who says, "Do they think I'm Johnny Appleseed with all these damn trees?" and Silzana Malcaus: "We have all this room for trees, but now no room for humans." Boro Park: NO ROOM FOR HOOMINS. AJ h8s trees too, boro park. Children pee on them!

AND FINALLY--

Lindsay Lohan to Ashley Olsen: "GET YOUR 15-YEAR-OLD FULL HOUSE ASS AWAY FROM MY GIRLFRIEND!!" LMFAO!! Rock on, LiLo!! \m/ Everyone remembers, Samantha Ronson, right? AJ draws your attention to the second-best part of the article, which is that Lindsay has taken Ronson's last name in her facebook profile!!!!

but OK so look: as far as AJ is concerned, Ronson is OBVIOUSLY A BIG DYKE and she and Lohan are OBVIOUSLY LOVERS (plz stop doin peace sign tho, k?). Much to my consternation, however, the media STUBBORNLY REFUSES to adequately play up the scandalous lesbo-love affair angle of their relationship (srsly, NY Post, "gal pal?" im so disappointed in u). When the MSM is concerned I always thought LESBIAN SCANDAL trumped homo-invisibility, so I ask my readers: WTF is up w/ taht?? Thoughts? Feelings? AJ SRSLY WANTS 2 KNO.

* duh, she's ONLY MY FAVORITE CRIME NOVELIST EVAR.

IT ARE CATURDAY!!!!!

2008-04-19T14:04:00.001-04:00

ALL CATS ALL DAY!!1

WE MISSED U HISSED TEH LOLCATS!

ZOMG CATS THAT LOOK LIKE HITLER!

JEFF THE GIANT ORANGE CAT!

STUFF ON MY CAT!

WORKING CLASS CATS!

WALL STREET JOURNAL IS IN UR MEMES RUININ UR JOKES!

CATS IN SINKS!

A HISTORY OF THE LOLCATS:

and on a lighter note...

2008-04-18T14:36:00.003-04:00

A very special lolAJ lolcat because, as my lolAJ tipster notes, "we all need a little more Peggy McIntosh in our lives"

ROCK ON, KITTEH!!!1

abortion art/AJ gives props pt 2

2008-04-18T10:49:00.005-04:00

OK so there seems to be some dispute about whether the Shvarts senior project (see previous post) is a hoax or no. Yale claims it is; Shvarts maintains it was "real." Here is a link to today's Yale Daily News column by the artist, discussing her work, although AJ doesn't really believe that the point of art has very much to do with what the artist thinks.

OK BRACE YOURSELVES FOR EARNEST COMMENTARY (snore):

I'd wager it's mainly beside the point, actually, whether the whole thing is a hoax or not, since (what I assume is) the desired effect has already been accomplished. At this moment, we're running 44 comments on the Feministing post on this story, and 95 on Feministe (which posted on it earlier yesterday)--and I'm not even going to wager a guess as to what chaos has broken out in the larger blogosphere and MSM on this subject.

ANYWAY. The mindgrapes of pro-choicers continue to boggle my mindgrapes. We are eager to defend the right to reproductive choice as an absolute right (because we are like serious fans of "rights," right?), and then backpedal madly when someone does something unexpected... you know, like be a man and choose to have a kid (whereupon we invoke weirdo wingnut rhetoric about the dude's psychological well being), or be a woman and choose to have an abortion just for the hell of it (whereupon we flip out). What's more, we are wont to cast ourselves as brave eradicators of the social stigma of abortion but then cringe when someone expresses the least regard for that stigma imaginable. We make t-shirts that say "I had an abortion" but when a student tells the whole world she had several, we accuse her of trivializing the emotional realities of those women for whom the choice was difficult. But didn't we think that emotional pain was there in the first place because of like, patriarchy or something? I forget. I thought we were pretty much ok with women feeling pain over their abortions but we also worked to minimize that pain insofar as it was the product of an anti-"choice" mentality.

It's also pretty striking how feminists have decried the piece for creating fodder for pro-lifers, as Feministing commented:

"but rather than spark a discussion... this really just propped up a lot of ridiculous anti-choice talking points, like women have abortions just for the heck of it, because they're bored on a Saturday night or something."

Which ok, a) hasn't it already sparked a discussion (see above)? and b) ok see above again.

AJ is going to engage in a POLITICAL FAUX PAS and introduce an analogy to a separate social issue, by which I mean, teh gay. We are pretty much not OK with a politics of respectability when it comes to queer folks, right? Similarly, it strikes me as incongruous that feminists, who presumably want choice as a categorical reproductive right, are anxious about some women's flagrant abortions making all those respectable abortions look bad! Wtf!

Also I thought we all thought the idea that life begins at conception was PRETTY DUMB, so how is this possibly immoral? Srsly, is an embryo/fetus a person or no? Make up your minds!

And finally, how greatly our feelings of scandal have impeded our capacity to function as art critics! The feminist blogosphere has been very quick to denounce the piece as "bad art," which is precisely what all those right-wingers say every time someone wants to put some elephant dung on Jesus or take a picture of some dude with a hard on. Boring. It's also an interesting proclamation since none of us have even actually SEEN the art yet. Folks have also been quick to demand to know what the artist's intentions were, amidst eager speculations (as Feministing has posted) that "there is likely more mush than thought" in Shvarts' head... which again, doesn't really seem like a very interesting way of appraising art, really.

ANYWAY wtf! You people are crazy!

AJ GIVES PROPS

2008-04-17T16:28:00.005-04:00

lolAJ's MAD PROPS go to Yale undergrad Aliza Shvarts.

The short of it is, Shvarts is an arts major who spent the last year inseminating herself, inducing abortions, and then documenting the whole thing for her senior arts project. Here is another article. Aliza, you are going to upset ALL THE RIGHT PEOPLE and that makes you OK in my book.

AJ may have something further to say about this later. Thanks to FITK for this gem.

stoopid werk

2008-04-17T09:57:00.006-04:00

OK i have not been able to post much lately because ppl at my job keep asking me to like DO STUFF wtf. im like, umm i have a blog? BUT THEY DON'T EVEN CARE. also what is up with the news lately. IT ARE BORING.

THAT SAID:

Since I have become PRETTY ADDICTED to text-based online roleplaying games (w00t!), I have gotten totally behind the times in terms of games that you know, have like moving pictures. I don't even HAVE a current generation platform anymore (stupid ps2), but I always thought I would get one when the next round of games that I care about came out...

Which is why I was all liek, AJ SMASH!!!! when I (ok 8 months after it was actually news) discovered that the new Resident Evil game (zomgRESIDENT EVIL 5!!!!!!) takes place in "Africa." Which means... yes, you guessed it, the entire game is you playing as the all-American white protagonist shooting at black African zombies. Here is the trailer.

This is pretty upsetting because, for those who do not know, Resident Evil is basically the awesomest video game franchise there is, and I'm not just saying that because someday Milla Jovovich will be my wife. Multipass, plz!

When it comes out in 2009, will I play RE5 anyway or no? IDK!

ANYWAY in the interest of not dwelling on stuff, here is some OTHER NEWS:

Sum thoughts on a game that is NOT RACIST like RE5. GO PLAY IT if you would like a QUANTITATIVE appraisal of how racist u r.

A real shocker from Empire State Coalition of Youth and Family Services: homeless young ppls = black, lgbt

Whoa, way to completely miss the point, Feministing .

AJ does not usually get all TOUCHY FEELY like this but still I will include a generic plug for Muslimah Media Watch, which is overall a PRETTY OK blog.

AJ likes his social commentary in UNDERWEAR ADS. no srsly wut the balls

AJ likes not to think too much about how the media portrays trans ppl . Oops.

lolFrance! says: IT ARE ILLEGAL to promote unhealthy thinness. Interestingly (or not, idk), it's conservatives who are pushing the bill thru.

omfgTHIS MOVIE WILL ROCK. \m/ AJ is especially a fan of Cynthia Nixon, mainly because her gf is like BASICALLY A BULLDAGGER. U rock 2, Cynthia! \m/

APROPOS, Michelle Rodriguez says her sexuality is none of our business. Whatever, Michelle! U rock less than Cynthia (ok still u rock for being generally awsum tho). Except I thought we all knew already she was dating that woman from the L Word and also that crappy Sci Fi show that got cancelled?

and APROPOS that movie w/ Cynthia Nixon, this business lady raises SOME INTERESTING POINTS about women WHO DO BUSINESS. Zing!

wtf does anyone care about the pope? not me. no wai.

mundayz :(

2008-04-13T23:18:00.011-04:00

zomg! THIS D00D is selling his blackness on ebay. Nice! AJ thinks it is a REAL STEAL! Fortuitously, K-Fed is still in the market! (aw don't cry k-fed youll get urs soon)

LMAO! @ xtian gene

Madonna iz an hero. wowz0rs. (via.)

Eek! a pretty good example of WHY I DON'T READ BOOKS.

WTF!!!!1! onoz mah hed it r exploded (via.)

feminists h8 ~~sex~~ pr0n. but do pr0n h8 feminists????

str8 wimmin luv seXx... WITH JACKIE WARNER!!!!1 OMG0Rz WORKOUT S34S0N 3 ST4RTS 2M0RR0W R U READY??? but srsly jackie wut iz up w/ taht hair

AJ is pretty interested in ppl who get stuck in places for periods of time, like this lady, and this d00d--which is why i was pretty psyched to see this New Yorker piece on Nicholas White, who spent 41 hours in an elevator, and other elevator-related issues.

and hereabouts:

LOL hipsters rule because how else would we know that submitting a liquor license application is JUST LIKE GETTING ARRESTED! rofl and my cubicle is JUST LIKE A CONTROL UNIT. oh wait except not.

You may think you know everything about the 125th Street rezoning fight, but did you know Craig Schley, founder of community group Voices of the Everyday People is a FORMER MODEL?? The people united, led by ex-models, CAN NEVER BE DEFEATED.

And finally, for a SRSLY GOOD TIEM feel free to read the curbed commenters' responses to the death of congestion pricing. IT IS ALWAYS GOOD TO SHARE OPINIONS WITH SUCH FINE GENTLEMEN AS THESE:

"GOOD!

I can't wait to leave my work and blast down the roads in my V12 Mercedes-Benz SL65 AMG and look for those "turn New York into Amsterdam" cyclists crying themselves and peddling like losers to their worthless minimum wage office jobs. I'll be sure to mash on the gas with my Prada shoes and unleash the 600 horsepower and scare them.

Weep on losers! I love living in Manhattan and I love my car!!

Fags!"

lol-aj.livejournal.com presents: a POTPOURRI!

2008-04-12T18:18:00.008-04:00

IT ARE THE WEEKEND AND HERE ARE SUM THINGS ON MY MIND GRAPES:

1. dixie chick s rule. one time i was driving to savannah with my gf and we were listening to truth no. 2 (which is playing in the next room of my apt at the moment). we pulled into a gas station and turned off the car and IT WAS STILL PLAYING. this was because the gas station was also playing truth no. 2, over the PA system by the pumps.

2. precious gems made from yr beloved dead person! THAT ARE SRSLY WEIRD. the most pertinent question has been posed already by a commenter, by which i mean,

how is this possible? why aren't diamonds like worthless if they are just makeable.

3. since much of my readership are not "internet people," it is necessary that i include a plug for Postcards from Yo Momma because i don't think you ppl would know about it otherwise! i shall not elaborate further except to add that my VERY OWN ROOMMATE's mother was featured in part of the April 7th postings. READ IT NOW OR DIE.

4. it has been SRSLY FOGGY in city lately. wtf! NYC is all liek "o hai, im san francisco!" the other day riding to work my glasses were all wet by the time i got to the other side of the manhattan bridge. that's how foggy it was. then the next day it was EQUALLY FOGGY. here are sum pikshurs from my fone:

bklyn bridge from the manhattan bridge.

the next day, somewhere near the courthouse like by centre st or something

5. speaking of my camera fone, aj will give a special prize to anyone who can tell him definitively whether this play is 4 srs:

ZOMG LOL MOST ORIGINAL IDEA EVAR!!!!11ONE!
jk wtf! is this 4 reel?

im pretty sure there was sum stuff taht are political that i wus thinking about this week but i cant remember now... TO BE CONTINUED!!!!

ZOMG WHUT IS UP WITH THE STARBUCKS CUPS

2008-04-08T17:29:00.006-04:00

Other interesting procreative news for this week includes this story: Baby with 2 faces born in north India. It's surprisingly heartwarming! However, AJ must register a degree of skepticism.

MAUREEN DOWD wants boys to be boys, calls "Hillary" a "Tracy Flick Goodie Two Shoes." McCain of course doesn't really need any encouragement with his vices. AJ wants sum shoulder pads, plz.

Another reason to like Naomi Campbell!

oops. lol @ culture of fear by which I mean GIVE ME MY BODYSPRAY BACK MINNEAPOLIS AIRPORT SECURITY

Also: in case you missed it, and continuing on with our theme of unconventional family/sexual formations, the state has taken custody of over 400 children following a raid on a Mormon fundamentalist compound in Texas on Saturday. Last week, the Dept of Family services hotline received a call from a 16 year old girl reporting repeated sexual and physical abuse at the hands of her (50+ year old) husband. The sect in question is the Fundamentalist Church of Latter Day Saints, whose leader, Warren Jeffs, you probably recall is currently serving a prison sentence for accomplice to rape. Jeffs also awaits trial for incest charges. BBC pines for the new wards of the state. AJ is generally pretty skeptical whenever the MSM anoints itself defender of women and girls, but WHUT DO U THINK? aj wants to kno.

and here are some news for great justice

2008-04-08T10:15:00.018-04:00

ENGLISH OR GTFO!!! Pennsylvania judge gives three Spanish-speaking men two years to pass an English test or face prison time, wants to kno: "Do you think we are going to supply you with a translator all of your life?[???]" The reporter describes Judge Olszewksi's sentencing style as "creative," forgets that the last time being racist/anglocentric was creative was like, idk, a super long time ago.

Oszewski supporters probably include these d00ds who want to boycott Absolut Vodka over this ad (which ran in Mexico):

LOL!!1!ONE! Be sure to check back for when they update the portion of the site on Aztlan!! NO I R SRS! (via Gawker)

:-O akfjaeo

Here is a pretty ok idea: The Accidental Scab, information repository (under development) for when you srsly don't want to be a scab by accident. Every1 add yr hometown!

Rend Smith offers a bit of h istorical context on the John White conviction (recently covered by 20/20), which of course raises questions about the construction of the rational subject and makes AJ sad panda.

lolAJ monday roflcopter

2008-04-07T11:11:00.008-04:00

LOL @ Nicholas Kristov who has sum MOAR awsum thoughts about race and gender. omg kristov WRUH???! but srsly tho its good to be reminded about SCIENCE. jk PEW PEW PEW PEW!!1

NYT also has a piece on Co-op City in the Baychester area of the Bronx (ok google analytics tells me i has visitors who don't live in the city, so.) With 55,000 residents, Co-op City is: a) the largest co-operative housing development IN THE UNIVERSE, and b) awsum. The co-op board is also considering pulling out of the Mitchell-Lama affordable housing program which are teh suck, however. Martin Fuchs also has a photo gallery thing on co-op city if u r into that sort of thing.

ALSO:

LOL @ some feminists. Feminists h8 sex!!!

British construction firm on workers whistling at ladies: DO NOT WANT. AJ is pretty sure this article raises some issues or something.

ZOMG COW-HUMAN!! via perez, cow egg injected with hoomin dna lives 3 days! professor science says cow-humans are are "intended to provide a limitless supply of stem cells to develop therapies for diseases." crossing a cow with a human of course also produces delicious spice with which i like to season my chicken salad.

and finally: major lulz @ michael bloomberg for suffering teh uber pwnage over congestion pricing. car owners know that bloomberg's plan was completely lulz-driven from its inception and it is always nice to see someone GET A TASTE OF HIS OR HER OWN MEDICINE. Overall, HappySnake is PRETTY HAPPY.

wtf why is it so weird to be a transsexual vol I

2008-04-02T18:42:00.018-04:00

in 5 parts:

k so I call the admissions office at the graduate school I will be attending in the fall to ask how much money I need to send them for my application fee. The man on the other end of the phone asks what my name is and I say "Well, the name I was admitted under is [birth name]." He acts flustered for a moment and then proceeds to refer to me, using my birth name, in the third person (with feminine pronouns) for the rest of the conversation. He seems to have concluded that the only conceivable explanation is I am calling on behalf of someone else.

Some time ago, I went to the bank to change the name on my bank account. Upon presenting my name change order to the teller, she puzzles over it for a moment and then asks me how my old name is pronounced. My former name is probably in the top 5 most basic, unmistakable anglo-girl names ever invented. So I tell her and she smiles in a vaguely confused way and says, "Oh, well I guess you get asked that a lot."

Since beginning man 'mone therapy a while ago, I find a nigh-omnipresent collection of lint in my belly button. No matter how frequently my girlfriend extracts it, it is always there. This never happened before; I can only guess that perhaps there are now hairs present that are trapping the lint inside my belly button?

At the behest of my better half, I finally get around to going to the doctor-who-must-not-be-named. The doctor acts REALLY INCREDIBLY apologetic and guilty the entire time, like it's her fault I'm there, which I find to be oddly gratifying. She also acts terrified of offending me when she asks if I sleep with men (this is at an LGBT clinic).

Women who read my blog are probably already aware that random men on the street often feel entitled to make unsolicited comments at people they do not know. If you are a gender nonconforming gay man or lesbian, perhaps those you pass by have called you a fag or a dyke. Or perhaps they have endeavored to strike up a dialogue about whether you are a man or a woman. However, if you are a white FTM who wears glasses, street hecklers will only call you one thing: HARRY POTTER.

ok.

2008-04-01T17:13:00.014-04:00

ok so about that congestion pricing thing i am a little late on the upswing but: look my car does not like to b pwned by ANYBODY but especially not Mayor Bloomberg or any1 else who looks like a reptile. anyone who wants to make me pay money just to drive my car is gay.

k to summarize:

congestion pricing disproportionately impacts middle and lower income ppls by:

taxing folks from the outer boroughs instead of the rich folks from jersey/westchester
taxing folks more if u don't have an EZ pass (which are expensive and used mainly by folks with moar monies)
throwing on a nasty fee if u don't have an EZ pass and don't pay w/in 48 hrs which is going to get crazy 'spensive for sum poor ppl
ignoring taxis and limos which amount to almost half of manhattan traffic and are frequented by ppl who make twice what the avg outer borough auto commuter makes

other reasons congestion pricing sux:

buildings produce 90% of manhattan's air pollution so why r u messing around with ppls cars.
first bloomberg wants ur monies, next u will have to make blood sacrifice
the fact that i like to drive my car
also it is hell of sleazy for the mta to announce that they have to delay service improvements less than a week before the council vote and threaten another base fare hike (zomg!) that's just dumb.
also do u really believe that monies will ever go to transportation? NO WAI. it will go to mike's roller skate collection or to make a horcrux something.

k in conclusion:

- cars rule

- tolls suck

- no srsly tolls r teh sux SERIOUSLY

Other items of import currently include:

Robots continue gentrification of outer space.

Another reason why racialicious is a righteous blog--the new updated comments policy:

11. Any comments using the phrase “the United States of Amerikkka” or “Amerikkka” will be deleted. It is not very original or entertaining at this point, especially not the 400th time someone has to read it.

LOL racialicious ftw.

AJ doesn't usually like to confuse work and blogging, but I will tell you something interesting about hotel development: BELLEVUE HOSPITAL IS GOING TO BE ONE (probably/maybe). Of particular note:

"Originally, officials considered turning the 1931 Italian Renaissance-style building on First Avenue between 29th and 30th streets into condos, but oddly, the layout of a mental institution is better suited to a hotel."

THATS RATHER FOUCAULDIAN! i think.

RIP

Bertha the Coney Island tiger shark has gone to that big aquarium in the sky. :'(

sadshark is sad/dead

nooooo white ppl r stealin mah bukkit

2008-04-01T17:03:00.002-04:00

ruh roh: Nation's Gentrified Neighborhoods Threatened by Aristocratization

ruh roh: HUD secretary expected to quit. srsly a hot tranny mess.

ruh roh: ABW pwns every1 with this response to the NYT's sort of dumb piece on multiracial ppls.

ohsnap 125th street residents r in ur city charter... um... READING IT.

wtf this d00d wants to let kids be transgendered THATS JUST WEIRD*

OK. now might be a good time to make sure every1 knows nicholas kristof is in all truth a WAY DUMBER columnist than maureen dowd (notably less entertaining, however). he just is, ok. A couple days ago, Nick followed up on an earlier op-ed in which he noted that Rev. Wright's proclamations about AIDS (white conspiracy) are in fact shared by 30% of the Af Am population, and that maybe Wright is not such far out crazy radical wingnut after all. Neway here is wut is on Kristof's mindgrapes:

black ppl have CONSPIRACY THEORIES about being subjugated by white ppl. (wtf why? taht iz srly wierd.)
actually if you think about it, it's not so much just black ppl who have conspiracy theories. it more has to do with AMERICAN ppl. that's even worse.
conspiracy theories. americans has dem.

because also americans believe in things like ufo's and creationism
actually americans believe in a lot of things that aren't true and don't know about a lot of things that are true! like dna and the solar system! science!

omg americans r so dum lol why!

AJ thinks its a pretty good idea to compare Rev. Wright's statements to people who believe in UFO's or ppl who don't know what DNA does--THAT IS ALL PRETTY MUCH THE SAME THING. Kristof's piece does a really good job putting everything in its appropriate policital/historical context (of anti-intellectualism) and helps me understand stuff a lot better.**

factcat h8s racism.

IN OTHER NEWZ AJ was also inexplicably intrigued by the NYT piece on Arianna Huffington, whom we all remember is most famous for saying "dykes are the new fags."

Unions are almost as good for black ppl as facts, if you are into that sort of thing.

soon i will have something to say about congestion pricing.

* by weird i mean mom and dad i blame you forever for letting me hit puberty. BLAME BLAME BLAME BLAME!!!1

** In this spirit, AJ is pleased to announced the formation of Verificationists for Racial and Economic Justice. VFREJ is committed to using logical positivism as a new and dynamic way of combating racial and economic inequity because if everybody had sum MOAR FACTS than there would be so much less OPPRESSION. No girls are allowed.

and now the weekend is almost over :'(

2008-03-30T22:31:00.006-04:00

WTF LOLVOGUE???? AJ is so NOT AMUSED! everybody write Jezebel and tell them lolAJ is your only alternative source for hilarious politically incisive kitty pidgin.

Guanabee covered Thomas Beatie, our favorite pregnant man. AJ is pretty shocked at how ppl are not knowing anything about transsexuals (save that we r sum messes): "He was born biologically female, had sex reassignment surgery, and is now legally male... Thomas, who still has female genitalia, decided he’d carry their baby himself." LOL teh facts: ur doin it wrong! AJ forgives Guanabee, however, for having the funniest sentiment so far on this piece:

Seahorses are all, like, “Whatever.”

It's true!

However, AJ recommends for the sake of his readership's mental health that nobody looks at the rest of the news coverage of Thomas Beatie, ESPECIALLY NOT FOX NEWS DON'T READ THAT ONE!!!!

In other newz, my girlfriend and I: we r TEH LAZY zomg. Does anyone want to buy an exercise machine thing?

AND NOW FOR A LITTLE BIT OF HISTORY: d00d, ppl have been worried about gentrification, I mean robots taking over harlem for a LONG ASS TIME. God robots ruin everything wtf.

Robots take Atlantic Avenue!

Council overrides Bloomberg's attempt to pwn section 8 tenants. WHO IS A TOOL NOW MIKE.

Racism in comic books upsets AJ the MOST EVAR. Racism should never exist in comics unless it involves homo superior being racist against the deserving str8 ppl, I mean regular humans.

Thanks, MultiCultClassics.

Torture porn! That's hil-arious! In truth, AJ really enjoys appallingly violent movies, tho I'm not entirely sure why. Issues. I has dem.

But let's take a closer look:

Is there a masochistic as well as a sadistic component to the mayhem? In the same way that some women cut themselves (they say) to feel something, maybe some moviegoers need to identify with people being cut to feel something, too.

wait wut? I missed the memo: it does not surprise me that the media imagines self-injury as feminized per se... I did not however realize we had come so far as to assume that cutting is exclusively a she-thing. roffle. Issues: women has dem! lol ladies, why is that anyway?

AND FINALLY: WE'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR IT--DID SHE??? YES! MAUREEN DOWD CALLS OBAMA MAGIC!!! LOLOLOLOL omg i didnt even read the rest of teh op-ed someone tell me if its good. o man she tots dwnd u obama. neway drink up ladies!

ok taht's all

a very special post from AJ

2008-03-27T22:16:00.002-04:00

Dear lolAJ readers,

Thank you for all your concerned emails* expressing condolences about the case of lolschmerz I mentioned in Monday's post. Here is one that was particularly thoughtful:

Dear AJ,
I read your post this morning, and I must say, I was very concerned to hear you mention lolschmerz! I have a family member who used to get really bad lolschmerz and I know how hard it can be. There is a lot of consciousness-raising that still needs to be done around lolschmerz and the people who suffer from it and I hope that one day it will not be so stigmatized. I just want you to know that you are in my thoughts as you go through this difficult time. I have always found it helpful to remember the words of Ceiling Cat as expressed thru his kitteh in the catitudes (Matthew 5:10)

"U r doin good if U iz pwned by otehr kittehz just coz U iz fair n reeznable; U can has Ceiling (and share it wif n00b on teh inside kittehz)"

I hope you feel better soon.

Sincerely,
Worried

Dear Worried,

Rejoice! Truly I say unto you, my lolschmerz has been cured! And here is the fruit of my labor:

AWSUM!!! and why is donald such a righteous kitteh?

ok tomorrow i promise i will talk about some things that are political.

* ok i actually did not get ANY emails of concern about my lolschmerz so i had to fabricate this one. wtf iz wrong with u ppl!!!!???

lolAJ

hey its the weekend!

BREAKING NEWS

Prop 8? Prop 6??

you know you have a problem when

sunday hayyyy

i'm just going to leave this here

and belatedly...

Transgender MD, etc

ASK A LESBIAN: "Sleeping with Straight Girls"

ok srsly wtf

a very special holiday kitteh

Hey I just saw Milk! Or: 10 things the gay mainstream WANTS you to believe about queer history!

ok

quickhit: <3 internet, feminism <3

let's talk about the weather

spitzface is now a meme!

AJ gives props: VIKING METAL

Ask a Lesbian: Proposition 8!

kwik hitz

WHEN I SAY DYKES YOU SAY OMFG

2 things

ok this definitely deserves its own post now

couple sunday lynx

this is pretty much how aj spends his afternoons too

lol-aj.livejournal.com has a RAGE

wooooooooooo

OK EVERYONE CHEER UP again

RIP Chloe "Chlobers" Hernandez-del Valle (1991 - 2008)

more news, stuff on thursday, etc

monday news

jebus finally

problem.

aj is rockin out w/ I-35W, Amanda the windows dancer

omgloltrannieswtf

BABIES: IT'S ON!

oh and here's the shifty lilliputian my mom is replacing me with

EVERYONE CHEER UP OK

worst day ever!

nooooooo

LOL OOPS

o heres a lolAJ quickhit

CURIOUSER AND CURIOUSER

btdubs

also as an aside

lol-aj.livejournal.com brings u some UPDATES

aj to nyc

uh oh

ANTM state of the union

wat!

Nobody expects a transsexual

youtube <3 <3 <3

mpls is cool/poppin

o hai

very important items

are you very bored at work?

QUICK HIT: YOUR LOLAJ MORNING TRAFFIC UPDATE

oops i meant to post this yesterday

strange things about homosocial (male) work environments

i guess it was a pretty ok day for the news and stuff

further reading

BEST local (and other) newz

QUESTIONS

oh my

here is a monday post from aj

UPS AND DOWNS

YOU ARE WELCOME

Intersections: YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG.

all the important local haps thanks to lolaj

UPDATE ON LESBIANS and stuff

Excellent news for the trans?

lol-aj.livejournal.com presents: MY FAMILY

Rat on cat on dog

lolesbians!

Y HALO THAR!*

Christian Siriano: some of my best friends are hot tranny messes!

BLOGGING RULEZ

OK 2 THINGS

wut are teh newz o ok i will tell u

ur weekly roundup with lolAJ