very important items

One thing that is cool about sexual minorities is that we are always coming up with like new identities (can I get a "LGBTSTTQQIBDSMGNC"??). This is especially excellent for people like me and Judith (Jack? idk) Halberstam who suffer from really severe taxonomic impulses. One thing that is really funny is when ppl come up with new modes of identification and I totally don't take them seriously! LOL! But according to the innarwebs, G0Y IS NOW A MEME.

Also OMG AJ has been waiting for someone to write this post for a LONG ASS TIME. (It is a critique of Muslim women in comics focusing on Sooraya Qadir, otherwise known as "Dust," the niqab-clad mutant youth who first joined the Marvel universe during Grant Morrison's run

on New X-Men.) One thing AJ feels the article does not sufficiently stress however 

is how fucking cool it is that Dust can like instantly strip all the flesh off of your bones by turning herself into a wicked sandstorm. In the subject of "uber pwnage" AJ is happy to award Dust with a final grade of EPIC WIN.

In other news, here is an example of why its dumb when liberals are like "why don't we just give cops tasers" because they think it will solve the problems.

Gawker endeavors an answer to AJ's age-old question: wtf is the deal with the MSM not caring about LinRon??? 

WAFL award: Park Slope parents are all like: Who do they think we are, people of color or something?

There are totally some raccoons in Brooklyn and other parts of the city too! They are definitely adorable and potentially a public health threat.

Also you definitely want to hear Racialicious weigh in on Logo's new(ish) show Gimme Sugar. Logo, lol.  oh u.

And finally, AJ can think of no better way to leave his readers than with the words of this young warrior poet, for truly her work gives new meaning to our understanding of the erotic as power. Read poem here plz.

are you very bored at work?

...WELL I HAVE EXCELLENT NEWS FOR YOU. Two sites that will easily kill AT LEAST an hour or so of your day. 

Wikipedia: List of unusual deaths. (I skipped antiquity.)

ABC News: Medical Marvels slideshow! (sort of NSFW at times)

Bonus slideshow for my mormonphilic readers: RUMSPRINGA!

(WARNING: this slideshow is SURPRISINGLY BORING.)

QUICK HIT: YOUR LOLAJ MORNING TRAFFIC UPDATE

What, dear readers, have you been googling to find me? I will tell you some highlights:

• i hate diablo cody
• jodie foster
• they be stealin mah bukkit
  
• "lesbianism is a political ideology"
  
•  "lolcats" "jackie warner"
  
• diablo cody obnoxious
  
• diablo cody and her feminist politics
• the lighthearted feminism of a fine merlot
• is lolspeak racist
• dykes are the new fags
  
• genderqueer brooklyn hipster 2008
  
• h8 sex
• flds women sexual frequency
• lolesbians
  
• look, it's terrible, i know, but weakness really, really bugs me, to the point that if there is a wounded bird on the sidewalk, i look at it and i go: i think i'll just kick it
  
• roflcopter black white sex
  
• timeout ny christian siriano white trash

plus like a dozen permutations of samantha ronson and lindsay lohan.

oops i meant to post this yesterday

the good news is:

Some of you may be interested to learn that the Park Slope Armory, which will soon offer YMCA programs, used to be home court to the Smart Set Athletic Club, which assembled the first "formally organized and independent all-black basketball team." Admittedly, AJ has only really ever thought of the Armory as "that big building over near the Lesbian Herstory Archives" but you learn something new every day!

My girlfriend has appraised me that BAMs Afro-Punk festival includes a screening of The Federation of Black Cowboys which is a documentary on... YOU GUESSED IT! It's going to be awsum!! Aforementioned girlfriend and I occasionally see aforementioned black cowboys clip-clopping down the street with their ponies when we go to the Gateway Center out in East New York and we are really big fans.

the bad news is:

my girlfriend and i slept through a 2-alarm fire one block from our house at 2:30 this morning

mayor michael bloomberg is 'disgusted' by the death of esmin green, who waited almost 24 hours in a kings county hospital waiting room then keeled over, went into convulsions, and eventually died as staff continued to ignore her. the whole thing is on a (highly disturbing) surveillance tape... unfortunately for kings county hospital. readers may not be shocked to know that green was both a woman and of color, which likely goes some way towards explaining how the fuck someone can fall over and die in the middle of a hospital without anyone noticing. updated to add: aj just noticed womanist musings has a pretty ok post on green.

news that is neither obviously good nor bad:

the city is settling the shawn bell wrongful death suit but wtf happened to my link? i lost it

LOL! This article is silly! What is most silly is on the matter of the alleged anti-tight clothes movement in Brooklyn, the Voice abruptly defers to a presumed authority identified only as "Park Slope resident Jenny Brauer." Wtf who is that? And why is this "park slope resident" apparently the only one who has anything to say about homophobia?

So Starbucks is closing down 600 stores nationwide. Holy crap!

On the one hand: AJ thinks Starbucks is a loathsome union busting corporation hellbent on annihilating the locally-owned coffee shop with egregiously overpriced drinks that they bill as gourmet even though they taste like burnt dirt. Plus their baristas are poorly trained, most of their beans are procured without fair compensation to the farmers that grew them, and god knows what they add to their coffee to make it look dark like that (no, I assure you, that is not just the color of the roast).

On the other hand: Burnt dirt is a delicacy compared to the street stand coffee in my work neighborhood, which tastes like diesel fuel that somebody pooped in. And for someone with a caffeine dependency as formidable as mine, the local Starbucks--barring potable alternatives--is more of a "need" than a "want" for me. (And YES, before you suggest it, I HAVE tried brewing coffee in the office and it SIMPLY DOES NOT WORK for a number of reasons which for brevity's sake I will not explore here.) Also I am quite fond of the baristas at *my* Starbucks, who know me by name and habit and often give me discounts on my drinks (along with other freebies such as APPLE FRITTERS and compliments on my outfits). However, I'm fairly confident that my Starbucks is not underperforming and will ride out this string of closures with little trouble.

neway, i wonder if my coworkers can sense me not working...

strange things about homosocial (male) work environments

• My boss comes to work in a t-shirt and grabs one of my spare work shirts off its hanger saying "hey I can wear this, right?"
• My other boss laments that he will have to take this week's Observer into the bathroom with him because the Post hasn't been delivered yet. I still need the Observer to look over the public notices section and listen in dismay to his griping.
• Office small talk centers on comic books and frog jizz.
• Pretty much everything can be expressed using warfare imagery. We are 'going to war' with a couple developers right now, so I find I spend most of my days either 'manning the cannons' or 'in the trenches' or stuff like that. This makes me feel pretty manly and righteous.
• "Hey, man" is probably the most commonly-used phrase in the office, though my boss calls everyone "brother" since he is a real union man.
• My girlfriend says the whole office smells funny.

TO BE CONTINUED!