i guess it was a pretty ok day for the news and stuff

via Gawker, pearls of wisdom from Eric Schaefer, who explains The Way Things Are:

"In general, gay men don't want to fuck trannies.

In general, gay men don't want to get fucked by doms wearing strap ons.

In general, gay guys... like to fuck other gay guys.

In general, women, gay or straight, don't want to fuck trannies.

In general, women, gay or straight, don't want to get fucked in the ass by doms wearing strap ons. (Obviously lesbians have a slightly higher proclivity of course but that's mainly in their pussies, not in their asses.)

In general, bi sexual guys like real cocks when they fuck guys and therefore don't go in for doms, some for trannies but less so than good ole regular gay guys.

So that leaves one kind of people who are the NUMBER ONE GROUP INTERESTED in FUCKING OR GETTING FUCKED BY TRANNIES AND GETTING FUCKED IN THE ASS BY DOMS... wait for it... STRAIGHT MEN."

LOL! ...he goes on to talk about the str8 male-sustained multi-million dollar tranny escort industry and something about shemales. I TOTALLY CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE STILL SINGLE, ERIC!! also lol @ gawker for this one. Rock! \m/

AJ is pretty sure Entertainment Weekly's 26 best femme fatales just made him a lesbian all over again. Win! Why do I always forget that HOLLYWOOD is my #1 root???

^^^^Rock!!!!

Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl" is pearls before swine feminists. 

Also. Z.O.M.G. lilo and sam are TOTALLY going to have a baby. sweet!  

And there was like all this flooding at Carroll Street and 4th Ave last weekend.. CAN ANYONE TELL ME IF CATTYSHACK IS OK??? 

Finally, NY politicians totally heart pride I guess.

further reading

Albanian sworn virgins Pashi Keqi and others secure EPIC GENDER WIN by becoming family patriarchs. Leslie Feinberg eat your heart out! (Who needs sex anyway) Says Keqi, 

I was totally free as a man because no one knew I was a woman. I could go wherever I wanted to and no one would dare swear at me because I could beat them up. I was only with men. I don’t know how to do women’s talk. I am never scared.

Rock!

Also the NYC Trans March happens this afternoon at 3 which is sort of the only part of pride that I find to be even remotely politically compelling (unfortunately I am bound to my cubicle and cannot attend). Here is the info:

Come on out for the 4th Trans Day of Action for Social and Economic Justice this Friday!!!  This march is initiated by TransJustice of the Audre Lorde Project, a Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Two-Spirit, Trans and Gender Non-Conforming People of Color Center for Community Organizing.

We have an SRLP banner that can lead our contingent. Wear your SRLP t-shirt or wear green!It will be fun, political and inspiring. 

This Friday, June 27, 2008 - 3pm
Starting rally at City Hall Park, Manhattan, NY

From the Points of Unity: “We call on our Trans and Gender Non-Conforming (TGNC) community and on all of our allies from many movements to join us for the 4th Annual Trans Day of Action for Social and Economic Justice. We as TGNC People of Color (POC) recognize the importance of working together alongside other movements to change the world we want to see. We live in a time when people of color, immigrants and poor people are disproportionately underserved, face higher levels of discrimination, heightened surveillance and experience increased violence at the hands of the state. It is critical that we unite and work together towards dismantling the transphobia, racism, classism, sexism, ageism, ableism, homophobia and xenophobia that permeates throughout our movements for social justice. Let’s come together to let the world know that TGNC rights will not be undermined and together we will not be silenced!”

TBC!

BEST local (and other) newz

Curbed has fun pics of anti-Thor Equities folks at last weekend's Mermaid Parade which AJ did not attend cuz that shit is TOO CROWDED.

Speaking of Coney, Ayveq the masturbating walrus is dead :(

LOLIKEA: OFELIA VAG!

Best headline EVAR: "Judge: Naked Cowboy can Sue Blue M & M" Rock on, naked cowboy.

Rock on, Ashley Dupre!

Uh oh, gender is complicated, complicates marriage! (Oddly decent coverage by CNN!)

AJ is ETERNALLY indebted to Gawker for their Guide to the Weird Ronson Family

On other gay matters, however, Gawker falls a bit behind the times (omgz0rz gay men arrested for public sex???? No. Wai. no wai. srsly wtf.) wut is ur deal gawker

This lady totally just gave birth on an F Train platform. TO A BABY. Eek!

AJ is pretty sure this new blog, NIMBY Brooklyn, is POLITICALLY OBJECTIONABLE... and yet... oddly amusing.

Basically no one likes jails, including the city's plan to make the House of D on Atlantic Ave much bigger and better (at incarcerating ppl) New nabe group Stop Brooklyn House of D doesn't like jails either but, you know, mostly for the wrong reasons.

fin.

QUESTIONS

I haz two:

1. There are railroad tracks that run east-west sort of along Avenue H that cut through my entire neighborhood. I believe the tracks go as far west as Sunset Park but I don't know how far east they run. Obviously, there are no subway lines that run east-west in this part of Brooklyn so it is not a subway. Also it is not LIRR or anything like that, duh. WHAT IS THIS?

and

2. It has recently come to my attention that there are MORMONS living IN my neighborhood.* OMG! Oft had I wondered who those roving groups of high school-aged youth were. They all wear the same conservative dress yet are not Hasidic, have matching name tags and, oddest of all, invariably smile and say HELLO to me whenever I pass! Quoth my girlfriend: "What the hell AJ we've talked about this like eight times already why can't you remember anything?" WHENCE CAME THEY? WHEREFORE LIVEST THEY IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD? It is very curious. I did not know there were any Mormons in this fine borough.

Anyone who can shed light on either of these matters will receive a PRIZE.

* It is sort of like finding a fish in your percolator.

EDITED TO FIX: massive proofreading fail.

oh my

For anyone who remembers these from her or his kiddie years, this video might be the most horrifying (amazing?) thing you have seen. Holy shitsticks!

ZOMG HAAAAALP!!!!

ALSO: OTHER SIGNIFICANT MUPPET NEWS.

here is a monday post from aj

OK here are sum soundbytes from the intarwebs

"This teacher has a history of encouraging noogie behavior."

"It looked horrific," he said. "Fifi was lying there covered in blood."

Instructional Video: Queefing

"enjoy my visual retrospective of the city's lost queer fetish clubs"

"The High Court in South Africa has ruled that Chinese South Africans are to be reclassified as black people" Wat!! Via.

here are the most evar:

MOST adorable epidemic EVAR!

MOST offensive neighborhood blog EVAR!

MOST annoying analysis EVAR!

MOST played-out progressive viewpoint EVAR!

MOST comprehensive SATC movie post EVAR!

AND IN OTHER NEWS:

Happy belated Juneteenth! 

The New York Times and Colorlines both have things to say about Border Patrol. Eek!

An intersex man raised as a woman becomes the second Bahraini FTM to have their sex change legally recognized by the courts. Neat! AJ noticed that: 1) Fox News could learn a few things about correct pronoun usage from Al Arabiya, and 2) The article reports the Bahraini Health Ministry paid for the dude's SRS. WTG Bahrain! Also: Via!

Bilerico has a post on fa'afine ppl in Samoa. LOL SCIENCE! if it weren't for science, how would we understand anything? Also this thing was posted like the same exact day the guy who cuts my hair was trying to chat me up about fa'afines and i was all like ummm wtf!

Also police brutality against trans ppls makes AJ an exceptionally sad panda :(    Also an update.

But on a happier note, Gawker: Why Lindsay Lohan is a Gay Hero. NEED I SAY MOAR???

ok tahtsall 4 now bai

UPDATED TO ADD: oh also duh! the convictions of 2 of the New Jersey 4 were overturned the other day OMG w00t! TIMES INFINITY. For anyone who doesn't already know, the NJ4 was basically a vicious lesbian gang. JK! They are four black lesbians (originally a group of seven) who got into an altercation with a d00d who was like rly mad when they were not wooed by his advances, so he decided to like throw his cigarette at them and spit and say some srsly rude things. Neway after defending themselves they all ended up getting 3-11 year prison sentences. LOL criminal justice! Anyway the other two convictions are pending and folks are hopeful that they will be overturned as well.

UPS AND DOWNS

k so some of these are old by now since i haven't posted in a while... YET AND STILL...

ZOMG! Mapquest only for bikes makes cyclists WINNARS

daria = perpetual win

Beverly Hills hotel experiences gender fail.

This d00d is trying to correct electoral politics-related gender fail only he FORGOT ABOUT ANGIE... YA DOOFUS!

TILA TEQUILA. words do not describe the fail (win?)! DO NOT FORGET TO SEND HER A CARD SAYING THANK YOU FOR YOUR MARRIAGE EQUALITY. rofl!

In the meantime, queer ppl win at complaining about everything.

Lobster fail. =C

NYT: Age is the new race/gender. Wat? taht is some sort of political fail.

flatbush gardener WINZ at his overview of the flatbush rezoning

And read about this dude for EPIC HIPSTER FAIL

And as far as I know the only thing left to say is ZOMG IKEA IKEA IKEA IKEA IKEA IKEA (etc)!!!! Death of Red Hook or single greatest event since Jesus? YOU DECIDE. Of particular note is the presence of my urban planner GIRLFRIEND at the opening ceremony--Dept of City Planning Chair and socialite extraordinaire AMANDA BURDEN (looking AWFULLY smart in that yellow suit). AJ thinks Ms. Burden is both classy and hilarious, in a highly nefarious sort of way. It is pretty hard to encapsulate Burden's nutty shenanigans on a mere blog, but this video of her unwelcome support for Shoot the Freak (and Bloomberg's ensuing eyeroll) is pretty classic. (NYT also had a pretty informative profile a while back: "Once at Cotillions, Now Reshaping the Cityscape" LOL!)

YOU ARE WELCOME

Intersections: YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG.

Here is a half page ad in the NYT

Here to read text in original. And below:

One of American's Most Popular Pastimes. Americans spend a lot of time in their cars. Not because they want to. But because of massive traffic congestion. And almost daily gridlock. For many people, commutes to work and school and daycaer can take up to three hours a day. According to traffic management experts, it's only going to get worse if our population continues its present growth rate. In many American cities, it's the same stress with our schools, our emergency rooms, our public infrastructure, even our water resources. A majority of Americans agree that runaway population growth threatens their quality of life. But with US Census projects indicating our population will explode from 300 million to 400 million in thirty years and 600 million in 2100, quality of life for future generations will be gone unless we take action today. The Pew Hispanic Research Center projects 82% of the country's massive future population increase will be a result of immigration between 2005 and 2050. And for every four new U.S. residents whether from births or immigration, approximately three more cars are added to our roads, increasing gridlock, energy use and greenhouse emissions. Together we can do something about it. We're the nation's leading experts on population and immigration trends and growth. Visit our websites to learn more and find out how you can help. Because wasting hours in your car is one pastime you can do without.

LOL! Thanks to feministing for the DELICIOUS COPYPASTA. also moar posting l8er.