Tuesday, June 24, 2008


I haz two:

1. There are railroad tracks that run east-west sort of along Avenue H that cut through my entire neighborhood. I believe the tracks go as far west as Sunset Park but I don't know how far east they run. Obviously, there are no subway lines that run east-west in this part of Brooklyn so it is not a subway. Also it is not LIRR or anything like that, duh. WHAT IS THIS?


2. It has recently come to my attention that there are MORMONS living IN my neighborhood.* OMG! Oft had I wondered who those roving groups of high school-aged youth were. They all wear the same conservative dress yet are not Hasidic, have matching name tags and, oddest of all, invariably smile and say HELLO to me whenever I pass! Quoth my girlfriend: "What the hell AJ we've talked about this like eight times already why can't you remember anything?" WHENCE CAME THEY? WHEREFORE LIVEST THEY IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD? It is very curious. I did not know there were any Mormons in this fine borough.

Anyone who can shed light on either of these matters will receive a PRIZE.

* It is sort of like finding a fish in your percolator.

EDITED TO FIX: massive proofreading fail.


Anna said...

maybe there's a kind of rumspringa for mormon teenagers? in which case, it might be a lot of fun to hang out with them.
-and also, is that a twin peaks reference i smell?

femmephane said...

Oooh. No rumspringa. Opposite! Mission! Say "Hey Elders!" It will impress/confuse them in a gratifying way.

Watch out-- they are probably trying to avoid sin of energy drinks such as "Red Bull."

AJ said...

ok now that i've GOOGLED rumspringa i can say i am confident any of these cheerful young whippersnappers are going to opt out of their faith, tho they might be fun to hang out with nonetheless.

no one has revealed anything about the origins of my mormons or the nature of those mysterious train tracks. lolaj readership fail!

i am deciding between a high five/chest bump greeting next time i see my mormons. i would simply inform them i am like totally a transsexual but they seem so happy!

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AJ lives in Minneapolis and is interested in stuff that's political. AJ has a lot invested in his masculinity.


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