Monday, March 3, 2008


Have you pickled in homophobic self-loathing today? No? Then try the Gay Recluse's recent post on the 125th Street rezoning, entitled, "On the Harlem Watch: Why the City Should Rezone the Shit out of 125th Street"

Thanks, Gay Recluse. For some reason, today I had not woken up hating every ounce of my queerness. PROBLEM SOLVED.

My lazy readers, DO NOT FRET. I will summarize for you:
  • Class > Race.
  • "Evil" gentrifiers are actually middle class black ppl.
  • 125th St's existing retail is "shitty" IMHO. DO NOT WANT.
  • Harlem has 99% fewer Zagat rated restaurants per sq mile than neighborhoods south of 110th Street. OMG DO NOT WANT.
  • I can has moar proof plz? Ya shoor. Gay recluse says: "Ask anyone who lives uptown what they think of local restaurants and shopping and we guarantee in response a facial expression that can only be described as haunted."
Wtf iz he srs? I... I fear NOT EVEN AN IMAGE MACRO can express my righteous indignation.

Nevermind. I have to hand it to Gay Recluse though for hitting upon a glimmer of truth. Truly what the Harlem community lacks is sufficient expensive sandwiches.

ALSO. "Mixed use development" and "inclusionary zoning"are phrases I've been hearing a lot lately. I had always thought that it was code for "let's make it even easier for filthy rich developers to put whatever the fuck they want wherever they want to regardless of what the community they're building in thinks." However, there is a first time for everything and it turns out I was WRONG. I was at a presentation recently where a woman from PlaNYC explained that mixed use zoning will create MORE housing units which will in turn DRIVE DOWN the price of land thus making EVERYTHING MORE AFFORDABLE. ZOMG WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT???? 

Someone should srsly go tell those maniacs at Community Board 10 that after they get their inclusionary zoning all those luxury high rises that are going to go up will be affordable for everyone! That is srsly teh rox00r!!

BTW VOTE People has some different ideas about what the proposed 125th Street rezoning could mean for Harlem's long-term residents, if you care about that kind of thing.

1 comment:

RG said...

luckily for whats-his-face he can eat at the new superfancy-chef-led cafeteria columbia is building inside its new giant buildings in harlem so the people that work there never have to g o outside and subsidize local businesses

AJ sez lolAJ FTW!!

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