Tuesday, March 25, 2008

truf r being much odder than fikshun!


While concerned members of the blogosphere have provided useful tips for dealing with imminent zombie/alien invasions, unfortunately very little has been said yet about ROBOTS. For those who inexplicably choose not to believe in the real and serious threat posed by ROBOT INVASION, I present to you the BigDog* (tho monstrous giant fly-like creepy creature thing may have been a more appropriate christening).

This might be a good time to make sure that all my readers are familiar with Uncanny Valley theory. As a transsexual, I find the uncanny valley has particular relevance to my life! (My former therapist thinks so toot!) Once upon a time in 2006, some dinosaurs talked about the uncanny valley and it was pretty funny and educational!

Bats are also horrifying. Today, the NYT reports that bats are dying and no one is sure of the cause. As for AJ, I am pretty sure this is excellent news, as bats are disgusting awful creatures. Those of you I am friendly with may already know that I spent much of my childhood sleeping with a tennis racket propped up next to my bed due to a particularly nasty household bat infestation. Bats greatly improved my backhand! Also I had to get several extremely painful rabies shots in my legs due to waking up WITH A BAT ON MY HEAD. (Tho now I like to think of it as transsexual training.) You will notice that the caption of the Times photo describes the monstrosity pictured as a "healthy bat." AJ would like to rebut that there is no such thing as a "healthy" undead thing. I take this as self-evident from the photo itself.

You know what else is horrifying? Adaptive mating strategies, esp when they involve faking death and are employed by SPIDERS. AJ recommends the newscientist video, "Male Spiders Play Dead When They Want to Get Laid." LOL, science. Do not make jokes about employing adaptive mating strategies yourself, that is obvious and unfunny.

ok that's all i'm thoroughly grossed out now.

* Special thanks for this tip goes to my girlfriend's BOSS who studies ROBOT PSYCHOLOGY or something like that.


femmephane said...

aj. I would like to say that you blogged all my news. The bats were my news. The only positive side-effect of massive, possibly fugus-related, bat-death is, of course, the repeated printing of the word "hibernaculum."

Alas you didn't blog ALL of my news. You're right. I overlooked the robots. I realized that in the middle of a prescient nightmare just a week ago. That video is suitably uncanny and has scared all bejeezus out of me.

If only we had some way to harness the terror of gentrification into a robot movie....

Xris (Flatbush Gardener) said...

I like bats. They're cute and cuddly.

I wrote a week ago about the trouble they're in. We're in danger of losing entire species in less than two years. If you don't like bats, perhaps you'll prefer the billions of mosquitoes we'll have when all the bats are extinct.

AJ said...

mosquitoes are a HIGHLY ACCEPTABLE alternative to nefarious inferi bats. the problem with bat houses is that bats cannot tell the difference between bat houses and YOUR houses and they are not so cute and cuddly when they are putting their demon faces in yr hair and driving long term community residents out of their homes.

speaking of which: robots are cold and unfeeling and thus do not care about things like affordable housing. i heard spitzer had entire legions of eminentdomainbots at his disposal but fortunately paterson is supposedly more critical of using robots to seize private property. forest city ratner of course has been employing robots for years.

AJ sez lolAJ FTW!!

internetz speak 4 teh politically l33t brought to you by lol-aj.blogspot.com!!!!

What should I get tattooed on my chest this summer?

About Me

AJ lives in Minneapolis and is interested in stuff that's political. AJ has a lot invested in his masculinity.


email at lolajblog@gmail.com and be awsum!